Festivus 2023 is coming. The “fictional” holiday that entered culture 26 years ago via a classic “Seinfeld” episode returns in December, meaning it’s time for the Eighth Annual Tampa Bay Times Airing of Grievances.
It’s your chance to gripe and complain from anywhere in the world about ways you’ve been annoyed this year. Your most petty peeves about people, businesses, sports teams, your job, your pets — whatever — could be published in the Tampa Bay Times. Examples of past year’s funniest reader complaints are here, here and here. Submit yours through this form by Dec. 7.
If you’re not familiar with Festivus, Frank Costanza (the brilliant, late Jerry Stiller) hilariously explains the anti-consumerism holiday that people still celebrate in real life in Season 9, Episode 10, “The Strike,” available on on Netflix. It involves an unadorned metal pole instead of a tree (tinsel is “distracting”), feats of strength and the airing of grievances. Festivusweb.com has more info.
Why do you include the stumps in my bagged romaine lettuce? I know I need roughage, but I am not eating romaine stumps. Mark Nelson, Winnipeg, Manitoba
How thin can they make water bottles? Used to be you could firmly grip a bottle of water to enjoy a nice big swig of tap water labeled as the finest fresh spring water found in the most exotic sounding locations on Earth. Now, those same bottles are so thin they collapse as you open them and the water comes out geyser-like, bathing you in fresh spring tap water. Donald Smith, Pinellas County
When my 12-year-old son calls me “bro.” Last I checked, I was still “mom.” Carybeth Hobbs, St. Petersburg
Co-workers, what’s the deal with leaving unused time on the microwave? Are you somehow gifting me those 13 seconds left on there? What am I going to do with 13 seconds? Jeffrey Dean
Drunk folks on those Uber Scooters, easily. I feel like I’m playing Carmeggedon everytime I drive through Ybor, but instead of credits I’d get 20 years upstate if I hit them. Dick Ferguson
St. Pete is opening restaurants and giant apartment complexes but adding no parking spaces. Rob Palmer, St. Petersburg
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“Tell us how we did.” It is very tiring to tell everyone how they did! If you enjoyed a trip to Publix, or an air conditioning service, or even an X-ray, they all want to know how it went. Valerie Liedtke, Oldsmar
Why must British television shows get remade for U.S. audiences? We speak a very similar language. — Mark Burke, Sheffield, U.K.
fuzzycuffs on November 30th, 2023 at 04:37 UTC »
Made up? That's insulting to my religion.