Here's my story. I apologize for the length, but it's worth it. Trust me...
Years ago, I had to apply for some kind of government program. Can't remember what. Probably something to do with my kids' health insurance. But that's immaterial.
I had just closed the doors on a dismally failed business, which was why I was applying for the program. They had me fax all of my earnings and bookkeeping paperwork... most of which had zeroes or negative numbers on them. The person on the phone was looking at the papers I faxed them the day before.
Finally, the guy said, "Sir, I'm going to go ahead and transfer you to our financial expert." He used that word..."Financial Expert." (Remember that. It's important.)
After a brief 40-or-so minutes on hold, I was talking to the "Financial Expert." We went back and forth for a while and she was obviously confused AF. (My paperwork was as simple and basic as you can imagine, mind you. Like first-lesson-in-high-school-accounting simple) She sighed with frustration. Oh, really? YOU'RE frustrated, bitch?
Here it comes:
After 20 minutes or so, she asks me, "What does 'Sooo' mean?"
I gets confused. I look everywhere. The word "Sooo" is nowhere on the papers. I say, "Ma'am, you're looking at an exact copy of the papers I'm holding in front of me. The word 'Sooo' isn't on any of these pages."
Well, to make a long story slightly less long, it took me another 10 minutes or so to realize that she, a supposed government agency "FINANCIAL EXPERT," was mistaking the numeric designation for no money --- "$0.00" --- for the word "Sooo."
A Financial fucking Expert... didn't... know... what "$0.00"... meant. Financial expert.
That was the moment I realized that Carlin was being generous with his statement.
furpie on May 15th, 2020 at 18:39 UTC »
Yogi was smarter than the average bear, and spoke better English than most people. Let's be like yogi.
bladow5990 on May 15th, 2020 at 18:45 UTC »
I worked in Yosemite and can confirm many people can't figure out the bear proof trash cans/ bear boxes.
theundercoverpapist on May 15th, 2020 at 20:04 UTC »
My favorite Carlin line! So true!!
Here's my story. I apologize for the length, but it's worth it. Trust me...
Years ago, I had to apply for some kind of government program. Can't remember what. Probably something to do with my kids' health insurance. But that's immaterial.
I had just closed the doors on a dismally failed business, which was why I was applying for the program. They had me fax all of my earnings and bookkeeping paperwork... most of which had zeroes or negative numbers on them. The person on the phone was looking at the papers I faxed them the day before.
Finally, the guy said, "Sir, I'm going to go ahead and transfer you to our financial expert." He used that word..."Financial Expert." (Remember that. It's important.)
After a brief 40-or-so minutes on hold, I was talking to the "Financial Expert." We went back and forth for a while and she was obviously confused AF. (My paperwork was as simple and basic as you can imagine, mind you. Like first-lesson-in-high-school-accounting simple) She sighed with frustration. Oh, really? YOU'RE frustrated, bitch?
Here it comes:
After 20 minutes or so, she asks me, "What does 'Sooo' mean?"
I gets confused. I look everywhere. The word "Sooo" is nowhere on the papers. I say, "Ma'am, you're looking at an exact copy of the papers I'm holding in front of me. The word 'Sooo' isn't on any of these pages."
Well, to make a long story slightly less long, it took me another 10 minutes or so to realize that she, a supposed government agency "FINANCIAL EXPERT," was mistaking the numeric designation for no money --- "$0.00" --- for the word "Sooo."
A Financial fucking Expert... didn't... know... what "$0.00"... meant. Financial expert.
That was the moment I realized that Carlin was being generous with his statement.