A long time ago I worked in an office, and one day I saw a coworker dismantling the industrial coffee maker. He said it took way too long to brew, and he wanted to know why. The water passages inside the machine were totally packed with dead cockroaches. It was ghastly. I had drank a lot of coffee strained through dead cockroaches. We all had. We thought about not telling the other people there, but in a spirit of equality we decided everybody should feel as sick as we did... :)
Edit: not a coffee shop. It was the place where we worked.
Edit 2: geez, it seems that I've ruined coffee drinking for lots of people. Sorry bout that. Let me make it up to you with another true story. Alright, back when I was 10 or 11 -- or 12 maybe, but I think I was getting kind of big by then. Ahem. So, to make a long story short, it was the time when I began my jerking off career. We all went through this phase, I believe. I was scouting the house one day when the family was out on the lake, looking for something, anything, that might help with the deed. I opened the fridge and there it was -- a one gallon jug of apple cider, one of those big glass ones. I unzipped and gave it a quick test on the spot ... and I was in luck! Thank you O Lord!
I don't wanna get too graphic, but I balled the shit out of that thing. I never thought I'd find something the right size, and then BOOM. Girls must have had a way easier time. Know what I mean? I was in heaven.
I was not allowed to stay home alone, except for when the family went out on the boat. We lived on a fresh water lake. So, whenever an outing was discussed, I would take the pass and stay home. I often suggested that "we" go fishing, then bow out at the last second. As soon as the boat was out of sight down the shoreline, I'd take the apple cider from the fridge, then pour the cider into a large serving bowl.
Then I'd hit the couch where the magic happened. I was always quiet so I could hear the boat motor.
When done, I'd rinse out the jug in the kitchen sink, then use one of mom's cooking funnels (used for baking? Idk) to pour the cider back in, then it went right back in the fridge. I never used soap. Look, I was a little kid, and I didn't really think it mattered at the time.
Here's the epilogue. From then on I ALWAYS declined apple cider, even though I previously never missed a chance to drink some, and nobody ever noticed the change. Oh, and it only worked for short time. I can't remember exactly how long it worked, maybe a few weeks, or a couple of months. I outgrew the thing. I was in mourning. Choking the chicken, as it were, was never the same again. Fucking great for awhile though. It was a golden era, but sadly temporary, like Camelot.
oakbarleyrye on May 30th, 2019 at 01:00 UTC »
Seems like it was working after all
Eric__Fapton on May 30th, 2019 at 01:52 UTC »
So it was, like, siphoning off a bit of the grounds every time over a period of years? Far out.
Reggie222 on May 30th, 2019 at 03:23 UTC »
A long time ago I worked in an office, and one day I saw a coworker dismantling the industrial coffee maker. He said it took way too long to brew, and he wanted to know why. The water passages inside the machine were totally packed with dead cockroaches. It was ghastly. I had drank a lot of coffee strained through dead cockroaches. We all had. We thought about not telling the other people there, but in a spirit of equality we decided everybody should feel as sick as we did... :)
Edit: not a coffee shop. It was the place where we worked.
Edit 2: geez, it seems that I've ruined coffee drinking for lots of people. Sorry bout that. Let me make it up to you with another true story. Alright, back when I was 10 or 11 -- or 12 maybe, but I think I was getting kind of big by then. Ahem. So, to make a long story short, it was the time when I began my jerking off career. We all went through this phase, I believe. I was scouting the house one day when the family was out on the lake, looking for something, anything, that might help with the deed. I opened the fridge and there it was -- a one gallon jug of apple cider, one of those big glass ones. I unzipped and gave it a quick test on the spot ... and I was in luck! Thank you O Lord!
I don't wanna get too graphic, but I balled the shit out of that thing. I never thought I'd find something the right size, and then BOOM. Girls must have had a way easier time. Know what I mean? I was in heaven.
I was not allowed to stay home alone, except for when the family went out on the boat. We lived on a fresh water lake. So, whenever an outing was discussed, I would take the pass and stay home. I often suggested that "we" go fishing, then bow out at the last second. As soon as the boat was out of sight down the shoreline, I'd take the apple cider from the fridge, then pour the cider into a large serving bowl.
Then I'd hit the couch where the magic happened. I was always quiet so I could hear the boat motor.
When done, I'd rinse out the jug in the kitchen sink, then use one of mom's cooking funnels (used for baking? Idk) to pour the cider back in, then it went right back in the fridge. I never used soap. Look, I was a little kid, and I didn't really think it mattered at the time.
Here's the epilogue. From then on I ALWAYS declined apple cider, even though I previously never missed a chance to drink some, and nobody ever noticed the change. Oh, and it only worked for short time. I can't remember exactly how long it worked, maybe a few weeks, or a couple of months. I outgrew the thing. I was in mourning. Choking the chicken, as it were, was never the same again. Fucking great for awhile though. It was a golden era, but sadly temporary, like Camelot.
; D