Selfish bastard

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YoshiRoosevelt on April 24th, 2019 at 01:14 UTC »

Real shit

snowchicken7 on April 24th, 2019 at 01:38 UTC »

r/grandpajoehate

grandpa-joe on April 24th, 2019 at 03:34 UTC »

I’d do it all over again.

Fuck that miserable Bucket household. Charlie winning the golden ticket was the best thing that ever happened to me, with Backpage being a close second (can’t believe they shut that shit down).

Charlie turned into a fat asshole after the whole Wonka was episode. Turns out a lifetime of chocolate is a bad idea.

But I turned out alright. Took my insider knowledge and sold it to a competitor. Made a small fortune and moved to Thailand where the living expenses (and women) are cheap.

They don’t expect a 100+ year old man to be able to move like that but thanks to decades spent in bed, I have the joints of a man half my age.