I’m sitting in a nursing home 12 hours a day watching my grandfather unable to speak or do anything for himself and just waiting to die from infection, lack of fluids or heart failure. This is all I’ve thought about for the last two days, and it should be available worldwide. It’s horrible to watch him struggling to breathe, moaning when he can’t say something or is feeling pain and listening to the phlegm in his throat and be told “hospice ordered no suction”. The nursing staff do their best and are bound by law so I can’t blame them, but it just tears me up knowing how humiliated he would be (or possibly is) knowing that he was laying there like that just waiting to die because they won’t take any action to keep him alive. How, at this point, is it not more humane to simply give him a shot and let him go. Instead, they stop all medications , withhold fluids and food and just let them lay until one thing or another kills them.
EDIT: I’m finding it impossible to respond to all the comments here, I am sitting bedside though and reading all that I can and reading many of them to him in case he can hear them and I sincerely thank all of you for your compassion and support. I never expected a response like this and I’m very grateful!!
My grandfather recently elected to leave our wonderful little mote of dust this way.
He turned 93 years old that day, and celebrated his last week with visits from family and friends; he had birthday cake as his last meal.
Aside from the symptoms of neural degeneration beginning to set in, he was otherwise in medically good health “for someone his age”.
The issue is, given the genetics of our family, he likely would have lived another 10-15 years. His hearing was largely gone, his vision was now fading significantly. That is 10-15 years of a slowly narrowing existence with senses dulling, and memory evanescing at an ever accelerating pace.
This isn’t designed to elicit sympathy, but rather, contemplation and insight. He had the time and foresight to set his affairs and estate in order. He had the time to take us each aside for an hour or so and catch up with us all on our lives. He had the time to impart a little wisdom. And he had the choice to leave on his terms relatively peacefully.
Jim was a strong proponent of the right to die with dignity and worked with organizations such as Final Exit for many years of his life. He would not want me to paint him as a saint, he had a difficult relationship with many in his family, and he had wonderful relationships with many others. Like all of us, he was a mixed bag. Thoughtful in many ways, irresponsible in others.
The next time a bill supporting this right crosses your ballots, I’d ask you all to consider the effect that our ever increasing quantity rather than quality of life will have on not just ourselves, but on our families; and to consider the opportunity for closure that this right can provide the relatives of the deceased.
Now, I’ll stop rambling, and let you all get on to enjoying the good parts of life—even if they are a little fewer and far between right now for some of you. Go bask in the sunshine you have.
aussilesautres on May 3rd, 2018 at 21:45 UTC »
Awkward conversation at immigration, I can imagine.
Philney14 on May 3rd, 2018 at 21:46 UTC »
I’m sitting in a nursing home 12 hours a day watching my grandfather unable to speak or do anything for himself and just waiting to die from infection, lack of fluids or heart failure. This is all I’ve thought about for the last two days, and it should be available worldwide. It’s horrible to watch him struggling to breathe, moaning when he can’t say something or is feeling pain and listening to the phlegm in his throat and be told “hospice ordered no suction”. The nursing staff do their best and are bound by law so I can’t blame them, but it just tears me up knowing how humiliated he would be (or possibly is) knowing that he was laying there like that just waiting to die because they won’t take any action to keep him alive. How, at this point, is it not more humane to simply give him a shot and let him go. Instead, they stop all medications , withhold fluids and food and just let them lay until one thing or another kills them.
EDIT: I’m finding it impossible to respond to all the comments here, I am sitting bedside though and reading all that I can and reading many of them to him in case he can hear them and I sincerely thank all of you for your compassion and support. I never expected a response like this and I’m very grateful!!
timshoaf on May 3rd, 2018 at 22:31 UTC »
My grandfather recently elected to leave our wonderful little mote of dust this way.
He turned 93 years old that day, and celebrated his last week with visits from family and friends; he had birthday cake as his last meal.
Aside from the symptoms of neural degeneration beginning to set in, he was otherwise in medically good health “for someone his age”.
The issue is, given the genetics of our family, he likely would have lived another 10-15 years. His hearing was largely gone, his vision was now fading significantly. That is 10-15 years of a slowly narrowing existence with senses dulling, and memory evanescing at an ever accelerating pace.
This isn’t designed to elicit sympathy, but rather, contemplation and insight. He had the time and foresight to set his affairs and estate in order. He had the time to take us each aside for an hour or so and catch up with us all on our lives. He had the time to impart a little wisdom. And he had the choice to leave on his terms relatively peacefully.
Jim was a strong proponent of the right to die with dignity and worked with organizations such as Final Exit for many years of his life. He would not want me to paint him as a saint, he had a difficult relationship with many in his family, and he had wonderful relationships with many others. Like all of us, he was a mixed bag. Thoughtful in many ways, irresponsible in others.
The next time a bill supporting this right crosses your ballots, I’d ask you all to consider the effect that our ever increasing quantity rather than quality of life will have on not just ourselves, but on our families; and to consider the opportunity for closure that this right can provide the relatives of the deceased.
Now, I’ll stop rambling, and let you all get on to enjoying the good parts of life—even if they are a little fewer and far between right now for some of you. Go bask in the sunshine you have.