Well, we've been together for over 30 years so I might have something to add here. If you don't have time to wait for something serious or catastrophic to happen while you're trying to decide if your SO is the "one", try taking a long trip that will include some difficulties. You'll see how your SO handles frustration, anger, unexpected changes of plan, adapts to unexpected loss, adapts to uncomfortable conditions etc. During this time you will have a glimpse of what life together might be like.
Hopefully everything will be just as expected and you'll ride off into the sunset together. If not you'll have learned something that might keep both of you from wasting years together in misery. Perhaps it's somewhere in-between and you'll both have eyes wide open and commit to working out the issues before you take the plunge.
People can surprise you but by working together through difficulties you can build something that will stand the test of time. Try to not get too angry about anything and remember to think of your SO as someone you want to be around and share your stuff, time, money, and life with. If you can manage that you'll be ahead of most and have a good position to win the long game.
My partner and I have been together for 2 years and we are in our late 20s.
He had a bad hand injury which disabled him for 3 months - imagine not being able to use your left hand at all lest you ruin the surgical repairs!! It caused him unemployment and depression. I cared for him through this and drove him to all his physical therapy appointments.
Then 6 months later, my dad died. I was so lost and devastated. My partner came to me immediately from an hour away when Dad had the stroke. When Dad saw my partner show up in his hospital room - though he couldn't speak anymore - he started to weep. I think Dad knew that my partner was always going to take care of me, even when Dad was gone.
We have gone through so much in such a short time, and we are more in love every day. He's going to propose soon and I cannot wait to share my life with him and have a family together!!
Edit: Yes, despite my username, I am a woman. <3 Thanks for all the love, Reddit friends!
Ghost_in_the_Synapse on March 20th, 2018 at 19:33 UTC »
Well, we've been together for over 30 years so I might have something to add here. If you don't have time to wait for something serious or catastrophic to happen while you're trying to decide if your SO is the "one", try taking a long trip that will include some difficulties. You'll see how your SO handles frustration, anger, unexpected changes of plan, adapts to unexpected loss, adapts to uncomfortable conditions etc. During this time you will have a glimpse of what life together might be like.
Hopefully everything will be just as expected and you'll ride off into the sunset together. If not you'll have learned something that might keep both of you from wasting years together in misery. Perhaps it's somewhere in-between and you'll both have eyes wide open and commit to working out the issues before you take the plunge.
People can surprise you but by working together through difficulties you can build something that will stand the test of time. Try to not get too angry about anything and remember to think of your SO as someone you want to be around and share your stuff, time, money, and life with. If you can manage that you'll be ahead of most and have a good position to win the long game.
Good luck!
AssMaster6000 on March 20th, 2018 at 21:52 UTC »
My partner and I have been together for 2 years and we are in our late 20s.
He had a bad hand injury which disabled him for 3 months - imagine not being able to use your left hand at all lest you ruin the surgical repairs!! It caused him unemployment and depression. I cared for him through this and drove him to all his physical therapy appointments.
Then 6 months later, my dad died. I was so lost and devastated. My partner came to me immediately from an hour away when Dad had the stroke. When Dad saw my partner show up in his hospital room - though he couldn't speak anymore - he started to weep. I think Dad knew that my partner was always going to take care of me, even when Dad was gone.
We have gone through so much in such a short time, and we are more in love every day. He's going to propose soon and I cannot wait to share my life with him and have a family together!!
Edit: Yes, despite my username, I am a woman. <3 Thanks for all the love, Reddit friends!
Tyrion_Hamster on March 20th, 2018 at 22:58 UTC »
Sorry honey, I'd love to get married, but someone needs to die first.