Pump your brakes, kid

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TropicTorpedo on December 8th, 2017 at 18:47 UTC »

It's a shame 300 other twitter accounts will copy this until it's no longer funny.

S_king_ on December 8th, 2017 at 19:02 UTC »

"I follow you outside but you've already left for Berlin, that's where you stashed the chandelier"

tcs36 on December 8th, 2017 at 21:54 UTC »

What is my perfect date? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier