Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had stabbed Mr. Happy repeatedly with a kitchen knife, cut up the body with a hatchet and buried the victim in his backyard.
Gaylord said he killed his imaginary friend of seven years for multiple reasons — one, for being messy.
“His room was a mess all the time with his toys and dolls,” Gaylord told police. “He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen… never picked up his empty cocaine baggies and left the toilet seat down when he peed. He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn’t get it clean. Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF (best friend forever). We’d go dancing, play on the children’s park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal — listened to it for hours with the lights turned off.”
woowoo293 on August 24th, 2017 at 20:53 UTC »
Bastard probably stabbed Bing Bong.
TooShiftyForYou on August 24th, 2017 at 21:15 UTC »
Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had stabbed Mr. Happy repeatedly with a kitchen knife, cut up the body with a hatchet and buried the victim in his backyard.
Gaylord said he killed his imaginary friend of seven years for multiple reasons — one, for being messy.
“His room was a mess all the time with his toys and dolls,” Gaylord told police. “He left his empty vodka bottles all over the kitchen… never picked up his empty cocaine baggies and left the toilet seat down when he peed. He messed up my apartment to the point where I just couldn’t get it clean. Before Hap started doing drugs and acting weird he was my BFF (best friend forever). We’d go dancing, play on the children’s park equipment, both huge fans of doom metal — listened to it for hours with the lights turned off.”
Was the fake story
jimmyjames1992 on August 24th, 2017 at 21:46 UTC »
That title is a goddamn masterpiece OP