Thousands of baby boomers aging alone are looking for families to “adopt” them.
“Elder orphans,” or unbefriended adults, are seniors without children, partners or close relatives. Now there’s a new Facebook group with more than 5,000 members to help them find support as they age.
Although many members value their independence, most will eventually need care or assistance with basic needs — help that most seniors depend upon family members to provide.
Carol Marak, editor of the website SeniorCare.com, started this new social media initiative.
“How many families are maybe without an older individual, or maybe they have lost their parents or they have lost their grandmother? Of course, it requires a lot of forethought, and even some help with legal matters, but I think adopting is an option,” Marak told WBUR’s Here and Now.
As the massive baby boomer population ages, similar support groups for seniors will likely become more common.
About 20 percent of U.S. women reach their 50s without having children, up from ten percent in the 1970s, according to a troubling report on caregiving from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine.
One-third of middle-age adults are single as they approach their retirement years, after never marrying, divorce or widowhood.
The Elder Orphans group is restricted to individuals 55 and older who live without a spouse or children.
“Most of the members are very grateful to have found us, and realize that there are so many more like them,” Marack said. “We all share the same grievances, the same hardships and challenges.”
Hjordiss on August 17th, 2017 at 11:58 UTC »
My elderly neighbour became my best friend throughout my childhood. She doted on me like I was her grandaughter (they had no kids so no grandchildren) she bought me clothes, gave me spending money, invited me for dinner. My mum worked a lot and my dad was abusive so she looked after me whilst my mum worked when I wasnt at school. My parents didnt start celebrating Christmas till 3 or so years ago so for 7 years my neighbour invited me to spend it with her and her husband. We would open presents, cook and eat together, then watch family films till 10pm-11pm and I would go home and sleep. She was amazing and I loved her and her husband soooo much. In return I looked after her, helped her shop, helped her cook, carried her bags, unpacked her shopping, cleaned her husbands car, did gardening for her, walked her dog etc.
She passed away last Wednesday but I live 200 miles away now and I didnt get to see her in her last months. She deteriorated quickly and my mum told me a few days before she died that she didnt have long left...
Sorry I wasnt there for you Helen, but you are forever in my heart and made my childhood amazing! You shaped me as a person and moulded a great future for me. I love you, will see your husband soon xxxx
piranhamahalo on August 17th, 2017 at 06:16 UTC »
We have some family friends who've basically become my surrogate/adopted grandparents. Their children are happily single and living halfway around the world, so they have nobody to "dote on" and no biological grandchildren in their foreseeable future. I love going to see them because they're literally the coolest people to talk to and I get to have grandparents again (mine passed away a few years back), and they love having me and my siblings around because we're the one thing they've always wanted, but can't have.
I think our bond is also just as strong - if not stronger - than the one I had with my biological grandparents because we chose each other. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adored my actual grandparents, but I visit my adopted grandparents not because I "have to" or because "we're related", but because they love me for the (wierd) way I am and because I love having such genuinely great people in my life.
So yeah, blood relation doesn't have to make families - love does <3
Clay_Statue on August 17th, 2017 at 02:21 UTC »
I did gardening for a guy who was like 85+ . He went to the local Denny's every single day for coffee and ended up being adopted by the manager who worked there. Eventually he sold his house and just moved in to live with her family full time. She had a giant, extended East-Indian family living under one-roof and they just incorporated this elderly white dude into the family structure. He actually had children, but they never came to see him. Nice guy, lots of stories. One thing he did was dismiss the idea of sexual conservatism back in the 40's and 50's. He said everybody was screwing everybody, it was just more hush hush back then. He also built some of the early log-cabins in the local mountains that eventually got turned turned into ski resorts. Those cabins are historical attractions that predated the regional park that eventually took over control of the land. Previously it was known as 'crown land' which meant that nobody really owned it and it technically belonged to 'the crown'. You could just take off into the woods and build a cabin with your buddies and nobody was around to tell you 'No'.