I had an ex who used to get on me for this. She'd tell me "I just want you to validate me. I don't need a solution"
Which is fair... but I think it's just the difference between how our minds work vs theirs. I want to help when there's a problem. It's a hard habit to break.
Edit
haha I love all the advice I'm getting. This isn't so much of a problem for me anymore. As far as this ex was concerned, she had a very good point on something I could improve about myself. At the same time, she was in the wrong for not being more understanding about my almost instinctual need to fix things. We didn't work out for a variety of reasons...
this was me until i watched that episode of parks & rec where they had to pull Chris aside and explain this to him tbh
and it's really true, i score mad brownie points from girls in my office cause i let em talk about shit & just agree with them. empathizing with people and being generally pleasant is a skill that will get you far in life
edit: gotta say i love how like half of this thread is just dudes completely missing the point, or arguing against it.
you can try and rationalize why your perspective is right and other people's are wrong, or you can learn to relate to people better. i can tell you, only one is going to help you in your personal relationships.
all imma say is that there aren't many guys in happy, quality relationships who have the "if you need to vent, don't come talk to me" type of attitude.
Richa652 on June 26th, 2017 at 12:49 UTC »
I had an ex who used to get on me for this. She'd tell me "I just want you to validate me. I don't need a solution"
Which is fair... but I think it's just the difference between how our minds work vs theirs. I want to help when there's a problem. It's a hard habit to break.
Edit
haha I love all the advice I'm getting. This isn't so much of a problem for me anymore. As far as this ex was concerned, she had a very good point on something I could improve about myself. At the same time, she was in the wrong for not being more understanding about my almost instinctual need to fix things. We didn't work out for a variety of reasons...
JoeyBulgaria on June 26th, 2017 at 13:15 UTC »
this was me until i watched that episode of parks & rec where they had to pull Chris aside and explain this to him tbh
and it's really true, i score mad brownie points from girls in my office cause i let em talk about shit & just agree with them. empathizing with people and being generally pleasant is a skill that will get you far in life
edit: gotta say i love how like half of this thread is just dudes completely missing the point, or arguing against it.
you can try and rationalize why your perspective is right and other people's are wrong, or you can learn to relate to people better. i can tell you, only one is going to help you in your personal relationships.
all imma say is that there aren't many guys in happy, quality relationships who have the "if you need to vent, don't come talk to me" type of attitude.
Starky_Love on June 26th, 2017 at 15:31 UTC »
I'm with the rest of the guys on this. I don't like to hear the complaining about the situations when you don't want to hear solutions or help.
But I also know my girl and other women just want to vent.
So I just hit em with the
Damn. Wow. That's crazy. Whew. Welp. Crazy. You wild.