I'm terrible at talking to strangers. For example, the other night a crying drunk woman approached my girlfriend & me in an alley. We asked if she was okay, but she didn't answer. After taking a few moments to collect herself, she whimpered, "How do you know you love her?"
We asked if she needed assistance or if we needed to call someone, but she just kept repeating between sobs, "How do you know you love her?"
Not satisfied with our response, she stumbled away in anguish. I said, "She must have just gone through a severe breakup & couldn't handle seeing a happy couple."
My girlfriend then said, "I figured... Is it wrong the whole time she was crying I kept thinking how funny & soul-crushing it would be if you proposed to me in front of her?"
...
That's how I know I love her.
Besides, whenever I do talk to Uber drivers, all they ever do is push their shitty ska fusion band on me. Don't you hate it when artists shamelessly self-promote?
Anyways, check out my other jokes on twitter, Instagram, or my website for tour dates. Thanks!
I once traveled with a guide who was taking me to Faya. He didn't speak for nine hours. At the end of it he pointed to the horizon and said, Faya! That was a good day. - The English Patient
NatBaimel on May 28th, 2017 at 15:44 UTC »
I'm terrible at talking to strangers. For example, the other night a crying drunk woman approached my girlfriend & me in an alley. We asked if she was okay, but she didn't answer. After taking a few moments to collect herself, she whimpered, "How do you know you love her?"
We asked if she needed assistance or if we needed to call someone, but she just kept repeating between sobs, "How do you know you love her?"
Not satisfied with our response, she stumbled away in anguish. I said, "She must have just gone through a severe breakup & couldn't handle seeing a happy couple."
My girlfriend then said, "I figured... Is it wrong the whole time she was crying I kept thinking how funny & soul-crushing it would be if you proposed to me in front of her?"
...
That's how I know I love her.
Besides, whenever I do talk to Uber drivers, all they ever do is push their shitty ska fusion band on me. Don't you hate it when artists shamelessly self-promote?
Anyways, check out my other jokes on twitter, Instagram, or my website for tour dates. Thanks!
TerribleWisdom on May 28th, 2017 at 17:15 UTC »
ehImCanadian on May 28th, 2017 at 19:13 UTC »
My Ideal trip
Me: Hey
Driver: Sup/hey
20minutes later
Me: Bye
Driver: Bye