I'm terrible at talking to strangers. For example, the other night a crying drunk woman approached my girlfriend & me in an alley. We asked if she was okay, but she didn't answer. After taking a few moments to collect herself, she whimpered, "How do you know you love her?"
We asked if she needed assistance or if we needed to call someone, but she just kept repeating between sobs, "How do you know you love her?"
Not satisfied with our response, she stumbled away in anguish. I said, "She must have just gone through a severe breakup & couldn't handle seeing a happy couple."
My girlfriend then said, "I figured... Is it wrong the whole time she was crying I kept thinking how funny & soul-crushing it would be if you proposed to me in front of her?"
...
That's how I know I love her.
Besides, whenever I do talk to Uber drivers, all they ever do is push their shitty ska fusion band on me. Don't you hate it when artists shamelessly self-promote?
Anyways, check out my other jokes on twitter, Instagram, or my website for tour dates. Thanks!
I once traveled with a guide who was taking me to Faya. He didn't speak for nine hours. At the end of it he pointed to the horizon and said, Faya! That was a good day. - The English Patient
I didn't realize this was a problem. I just started uber driving and kind of chat with people out of nervousness. I'll talk less. It's only my 4th day driving drunks home in Ocean City, MD. I'm averaging $74 an hour there this weekend and still have 5 stars though, so I guess it's okay to be chatty. Still, it might be better to talk less regardless.
NatBaimel on May 28th, 2017 at 15:44 UTC »
I'm terrible at talking to strangers. For example, the other night a crying drunk woman approached my girlfriend & me in an alley. We asked if she was okay, but she didn't answer. After taking a few moments to collect herself, she whimpered, "How do you know you love her?"
We asked if she needed assistance or if we needed to call someone, but she just kept repeating between sobs, "How do you know you love her?"
Not satisfied with our response, she stumbled away in anguish. I said, "She must have just gone through a severe breakup & couldn't handle seeing a happy couple."
My girlfriend then said, "I figured... Is it wrong the whole time she was crying I kept thinking how funny & soul-crushing it would be if you proposed to me in front of her?"
...
That's how I know I love her.
Besides, whenever I do talk to Uber drivers, all they ever do is push their shitty ska fusion band on me. Don't you hate it when artists shamelessly self-promote?
Anyways, check out my other jokes on twitter, Instagram, or my website for tour dates. Thanks!
TerribleWisdom on May 28th, 2017 at 17:15 UTC »
KelpCoffee on May 28th, 2017 at 18:45 UTC »
I didn't realize this was a problem. I just started uber driving and kind of chat with people out of nervousness. I'll talk less. It's only my 4th day driving drunks home in Ocean City, MD. I'm averaging $74 an hour there this weekend and still have 5 stars though, so I guess it's okay to be chatty. Still, it might be better to talk less regardless.