The Daily Populous Friday January 9th, 2026 night edition
Authored by dailyrecord.co.uk and submitted by bookchaser

Residents of Scots Greenland warn Donald Trump to keep his hands off their home

People living in the small farming settlement near Thurso are sending an urgent letter to America amid fears the Orange Manbaby might mistake it for the Danish territory.

View 4 Images Trump has been told to keep his tiny hands off Greenland (Image: AFP via Getty Images)

Residents of Scotland's Greenland have warned Donald Trump to keep his tiny hands off their home. People living in the small farming settlement near Thurso are sending an urgent letter to America amid fears the Orange Manbaby might mistake it for the Danish territory.

He has threatened to annex the more famous Greenland on security grounds and its abundant supply of high-value minerals. And Donald's interest has not gone unnoticed by the island's namesake over here.

Greenland is a small farming settlement in east Caithness, about 11 miles from John O' Groats in the Highlands. Residents are hoping the US President does not – by accident or design – train his sights on their area.

View 4 Images Defiant Greenland locals have told Trump: Hands off! (Image: Robert MacDonald)

It may not be so far-fetched given that the US Navy used to run two bases in the far north which monitored submarine activity in the north Atlantic. Asked whether he thought Trump was serious about his Greenland invasion plan, farmer Andrew Mackay, of West Greenland, Caithness, said: "I don't think he's bluffing. I think he's quite serious.

"Just look at how quickly he's gone into Venezuela. It's full of oil and Americans need that."

View 4 Images Farmer Andrew Mackay (Image: Robert MacDonald)

But the farmer was confident he could be the one making money if Trump was to try and invade the wrong Greenland. He said: "We might be able to stop him on the beach. We could cook some steak for them, because they like steak and we've got plenty of cattle here.

"So we could make some money off them and send them on their merry way! Hopefully they'll get lost on their way here."

View 4 Images Retired farmer Hamish Pottinger (Image: Robert MacDonald)

Meanwhile fellow Greenland resident and retired farmer Hamish Pottinger reckons Trump's troops would find the remote terrain of northern Scotland quite difficult.

He added: "I think we'd be able to starve them out quite quickly."

PigletAmazing1422 on January 8th, 2026 at 17:28 UTC »

Nothing offbeat about this. Pretty damn mainstream

afghamistam on January 8th, 2026 at 17:22 UTC »

Is that like when about 60 women going back 5 decades warned Donald Trump to keep his hands off their pussies?

bookchaser on January 8th, 2026 at 15:22 UTC »

This is the largest newspaper in Scotland referring to Trump, in its reporting, as Orange Manbaby.