We Bought a ‘Peeing’ Robot Attack Dog From Temu. It Was Even Weirder Than Expected

In my 15 years of reviewing tech, this pellet-firing, story-telling, pretend-urinating robot attack dog is easily the strangest thing I’ve ever tested.

Arriving in a slightly battered box following a series of questionable decisions on Temu, I’m immediately drawn to the words “FIRE BULLETS PET” emblazoned on the box. And there, resting behind the protective plastic window with all the innocence of a newborn lamb, lies the plastic destroyer of worlds that my four-and-a-half-year-old immediately (and inexplicably), names Clippy.

Clippy is a robot dog. Of sorts. And he (my son assures me that it’s a he), is clearly influenced by the remarkable, and somewhat terrifying, robotic canine creations of Boston Dynamics—a renowned company that’s leading the robot revolution.

Naturally, given the $50 price tag (a little less if you don't want the—ahem—spinal-mounted pellet gun), I’m not expecting Clippy to perform miracles. But, given my track record, being served an Instagram ad promising all manner of animatronic wizardry for less than the cost of a round of drinks in a London bar, the opportunity was too tempting to pass up.

What happened, almost inevitably, was a lesson in not taking the social media ads you are served at face value. But, actually? It was also a lot of ridiculous fun.

After freeing Clippy from his box, I’m immediately met with some of the lightest, cheapest, glossiest plastic I’ve ever come across.

I have nothing against plastic. Remember the Nokia Lumia 920? Its polycarbonate body remains one of my favourite phone designs to this day. Sturdy, solid, and light, it was everything an object clad in plastic should be. Clippy and his accompanying remote, on the other hand, provide a somewhat Christmas cracker toy-like level of confidence in their durability.

Clippy’s main body, filled with the bulk of the electronics, is weighty enough, but his four spindly legs do not give the impression that they’re up to the task of supporting anything. Except, of course, that I am in ownership of the turret-toting model, which promises to lay waste to enemies by bombarding them with water-absorbent pellets (more on that in a bit).

Overall, the entire ensemble resembles an elongated CCTV camera on legs, with a turret resting on top—suitably menacing, and genuinely not far off Boston Dynamic’s bona fide offering, in looks, at least.