My girlfriend’s instinct that something was wrong saved my life

When Jack Wilson did not turn up to the spin class he had planned with his girlfriend, Katy, on Valentine’s Day, she knew something was terribly wrong.

After years of anxiety, Wilson’s mental health had begun to deteriorate sharply over the winter months last year, until one day he could no longer see a way out.

Katy rushed to their home in Hackney, east London, to find him clinging to his childhood teddy, a seal, sobbing hysterically as he wrote suicide notes to his family.

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“I had completely lost track of time and then Katy came back because I hadn’t turned up and she knew something was wrong,” said Wilson, 29. “Quite simply, if I hadn’t agreed to go to that spin class, I would be dead right now.”

Growing up with four brothers in south Cumbria, Wilson spent much of his childhood outdoors, developing a passion for sailing, rowing and cycling. He said: “I’ve always been externally very, very sociable. I’ve always been viewed as a bubbly, outgoing person, willing to talk to anybody and have a good time.”

Wilson had been struggling with anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) since he was 15, however, and at the start of 2023, during his first year living in London, working in a high-pressure job in human resources, his mental health began to deteriorate.

“I just thought I had run out of options trying to get myself better,” he said. “It’s this feeling of absolute desperation, that you’ve tried every single different thing in your toolbox in your head [about] how can I make myself feel better? How can I change? How can I stop feeling this way? And that’s when the crisis point sets in, because you just feel like there is literally no other place to turn.”

But with Katy’s help he spoke to the Hackney Crisis Team and was referred to James’ Place, a charity that offers free treatment for men in suicidal crisis. It is one of three charities chosen for this year’s Christmas appeal by The Times and The Sunday Times.

Suicide is the leading cause of death of people under the age of 35 in the UK and the biggest killer of men under the age of 50. Last year 16 people died every day by suicide in England and Wales, according to the Office for National Statistics.

James’ Place centre in London started operating during the coronavirus pandemic and since then has helped 943 men in crisis, from all walks of life and backgrounds.

Dan Bracken, head of James’ Place in London, said: “There is this huge diversity [in the capital] so we get a variety of men that come in. We get a lot of people from hospitality work, a significant number of people who work in construction, in creative work and in healthcare. I might have a caseload and get a director of retail, a tree surgeon and somebody who’s unemployed. We’re just near the City, so we get people who are in big law firms and in finance.”

Jack has gone climbing to raise money for James’ Place and proposed to Katy

Despite its location in a hectic part of central London, the Moorgate centre is a calm and peaceful haven purposefully designed to provide a comfortable and home-like setting for men in crisis.

“The environment was like a house, which made me feel at ease,” Wilson said. “It wasn’t like a hospital or doctor’s surgery. I’d sit in the waiting room and see other men sitting there who were feeling the same as me, which made me feel reassured and less alone.”

The centre provided him with a “safe space” where he could fully open up, something he had not been able to do on previous occasions, and for the next eight weeks he worked through his crisis along with his therapist, Anja.

Since then he has proposed to Katy, started long-term therapy and in June climbed the highest peaks in England, Scotland and Wales in under 24 hours to raise almost £2,500 for James’ Place.

Wilson said: “I will always say to everyone: Katy saved my life and James’ Place held my hand to take the first steps on the road to recovery.”

If you’re a man in suicidal crisis in the northeast or northwest of England or London, you can access support from James’ Place via jamesplace.org.uk. For immediate support go to your nearest A&E or walk-in centre, call 111, call the Samaritans on 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258.

Find out more about the Christmas Appeal and donate by calling 0151 286 1594 or by clicking the button below.