Mother goes viral for emailing teacher to opt son out of homework

Authored by independent.co.uk and submitted by Forward-Answer-4407

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A mother has gone viral after emailing her son’s teacher in an effort to opt out of homework.

In a viral TikTok video, mother-of-three Cayley (@cayleyxo) shared how her son received a 15 to 20-page, double-sided homework packet on his first day of kindergarten. The packet was meant to encompass all of his homework for August, but when the sight of it stressed her son out, she sent the teacher a “cutesy” email.

She started the video, explaining: “I sent my son’s kindergarten teacher a cutesy little email saying, ‘I’m sorry. Based on the stress, mental, physical anxiety it’s causing my kid, we are done.’”

She was motivated to send the email after she and her son tried to work on the homework packet together on 26 August after he had fallen behind, sitting him down to finish at least one or two pages. At that moment, they were both so stressed out, they began to cry.

“It was an emotional mess. I felt so guilty dropping him off at school,” she recalled. “He didn’t want to be there. For the last two weeks, he told me he doesn’t even like school and doesn’t want to be there anymore, which hurts my mama heart because you’re five. The only thing you should be worrying about is learning and what time snack time is.”

She added that she’d rather her children enjoy their education than grow to resent it, stressing: “Work to live, we don’t live to work.”

The video - which has since garnered over 250,000 views on the platform - received tons of comments from teachers who empathized with Cayley and her son.

“Kindergarten teacher here - it’s normal for kids to not like school the first couple of weeks or even months!” one user wrote. “It’s a big adjustment, especially for kids who have never been to preschool or away from their parents. Hang in there, Mama. He’ll love it once he starts to make friends.”

They added, “As for homework, I agree with you. I never sent home homework unless parents specifically asked me, and I always let them know it was optional. I did, however, tell parents to read a book to their child every day, so that was their only ‘homework.’”

“I’m a substitute teacher, and homework is SO outdated and unnecessary! Most teachers at the district I work for have made it a thing of the past, but some are still hanging on. Good for you, though!” another teacher noted.

Fellow parents also voiced similar concerns.

“My kids get SO much homework,” one wrote. “They’re GRADED on it too, starting in first grade public school! The pressure on these kids is insane.”

“We had kinder orientation tonight and my son’s teacher said ‘Homework! It’s kindergarten, I’m not giving homework. Just read with them.’ And I thought ‘good because we ain’t gonna do it,’” someone else added.

Cayley shared an update on the situation on 7 September, saying the teacher had considered her complaints and has since reduced the homework to one page as well as included more interactive assignments.

“I told her I would be up for meeting in the middle and working as a team because that is what we’re here for - the benefit of our children,” Cayley told viewers. “This is your sign to maybe say something to your teacher, nicely and politely, if something doesn’t sit right with you at their school.”

armaedes on September 10th, 2024 at 23:22 UTC »

Okay so get ready to roast me here but I teach math to upper grades (almost exclusively high school, lowest I’ve taught is 8th grade) and I pretty much never give homework. If they know it in class then going home and doing 30 problems is a waste of time, and if they don’t know it in class then how are they supposed to go home and do 30 problems? They’ll just use Mathway or something to cheat most likely.

They need time to be kids and take a break from school. I chose to do this for a living and even I don’t want to work on it all evening.

"But how can they learn something if they don't practice it?" I have taught AP Statistics for over 10 years, have given maybe 3 total homework assignments each year in that time, and still have 85%+ pass the AP exam each year. In 18 years of education I have had two in which I had below 90% pass the godforsaken standardized test at the end of the year despite giving basically no homework to those classes (and one of those was my first year and come on, teachers should get a mulligan on that one). Homework has absolutely no correlation to the amount of stuff kids learn.

If a kid is struggling with a topic I will suggest they do 20 minutes a night MAX on something like Khan Academy or IXL working on it but beyond that . . . total waste of time.

nevadaho on September 10th, 2024 at 21:35 UTC »

Agreed. Homework is totally fair for kids to complete independently. Kindergarteners cannot complete a LOT on their own, and definitely not a whole packet. Mom was well within her rights to push back. It’s not developmentally appropriate and impedes family quality time that ought to be used reading picture books (adult out loud to child or vice versus), family meals together, and other family enjoyment together.

cowonaviwus19 on September 10th, 2024 at 21:25 UTC »

So, I get it. Seven to eight hours a day the little ones are sitting in school then you send them home (in Kindergarten!!!) with a homework packet?!

I’m down for reading, a worksheet, a study item, whatever. Not actual work where now my time with my kid in the evening is consumed by homework.

My kids are in HS now, so the work is totally on them. This doesn’t bother me, it’s expected. It was when they were littles being sent home with a massive amount for me to teach them.