Campbell Johnstone reveals himself to be first openly gay All Black

The prop played in three All Black Test matches in 2005 and made 72 appearances for Canterbury and 38 for the Crusaders.

In a momentous moment for New Zealand's rainbow community, Campbell Johnstone has outed himself as the first openly gay player to have represented the country's most influential sporting brand.

All Black No. 1056 has publicly revealed his sexuality – in a brave bid to “open up that door and magically make that closet disappear” – for the first time on TVNZ's Seven Sharp programme on Monday evening.

Johnstone, who played three tests for the All Blacks all in 2005, did confide in some teammates and his family during his playing days. He made his debut against Fiji and played his last against the British and Irish Lions.

The tighthead prop said by coming out publicly he hoped it would remove any stigmas of what it meant to be an All Black and a Crusader for young athletes.

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“If I can be the first All Black that comes out as gay and take away the pressure and the stigma surrounding that whole issue, then it can actually help other people,” Johnstone told Seven Sharp.

“We’ll know that there is one amongst the All Blacks.”

Hannah Johnston/Photosport Campbell Johnstone played three tests for the All Blacks in 2005.

Johnstone played 67 games for Canterbury and made 37 appearances for the Crusaders. He also represented Hawke's Bay and the Tasman Mako before playing professionally overseas.

When he dreamed of being an All Black as a child, Johnstone thought he needed to be manly and strong and possibly even have a wife with children.

He went to some “interesting places” in his struggle for his own acceptance.

“I’d push that side of me down deeper and deeper,” Johnstone told Seven Sharp.

Johnstone was, at times, plagued by self-doubts that he didn't fit the mould.

“It would come to the surface when I may have had a bad game and I would look at that side of me and blame that side for it.

“It slowly starts to affect you and it’s hard living a double life or living a lie.”

The once hulking prop, who is now hardly recognisable from his “pretty chubby” playing days, believes he would have been a better player if he had opened up about his true self during his playing days.

“We had a phrase in rugby saying after a game if you could look yourself in the mirror and be honest with yourself, then you’ve done enough ... and here I was looking in the mirror having not been honest with my teammates.

“That puts a lot of pressure on you and it just builds up on you.”

Evan Barnes/Stuff Campbell Johnston on the charge for the Crusaders during his playing days.

But during his own career, Johnstone said the private side within him was happy with just his own circle knowing.

When he did confide in one teammate, the response he got was about time.

“I guess they know,” Johnstone said.

Johnstone’s courageous act follows former New Zealand test cricketer Heath Davis coming out publicly in August last year.

Davis was New Zealand’s first international male cricketer to speak publicly about his experience as a gay professional athlete.

There was a part of Johnstone that was disappointed it had taken him so long to come out.

“And then there’s the other aspect that I’m maybe a little bit sad that we’re having to do this ... but if I open up that door and kind of magically make that closet disappear, then we’re going to help a lot of people.”

Stuff Campbell Johnstone takes a drink at a Canterbury rugby training in the mid-2000s.

Johnstone hoped an openly gay All Black could be one of the final pieces in the puzzle of New Zealand sports to show that there is acceptance and normalise all sexualities for any young athletes making their way in their chosen sports.

Coming out publicly as the first gay All Black will throw Johnstone’s name into the spotlight and reluctantly, he believes he's ready for that knowing it will help others and that he is comfortable within himself.

So what was Johnstone’s advice for a young athlete who may be struggling with the idea of revealing their sexuality.

“There’s no rule, there’s no law about coming out, you don’t have to come out,” Johnstone told Seven Sharp.

“If you feel it’s not right for you, then don’t.

“The ideal of a rugby player, a Crusader, is of an honest strong person and the stronger you are ... if you can make yourself stronger by relieving anxiety and stress then you will fit that mould.”

Johnstone, who revealed the support of his partner had helped him go public, was back at his old stomping ground to give a talk to his former team the Crusaders on Monday about his own journey and inclusion.