Donald Trump Demands To Be Restored To Power After Americans Deprived Of Constitutional Right To See Hunter Biden Dick Pics - Above the Law

On Friday afternoon, the world’s richest man took to his social media platform to announce an exposé of epic proportions.

“What really happened with the Hunter Biden story suppression by Twitter will be published on Twitter at 5pm ET!” he tweeted, adding “This will be awesome” and a popcorn emoji in case there was any doubt how wild things would get. No mention was made of the day’s earlier debacle: after antisemitic rapper Ye’s account was suspended on the same day Twitter welcomed Andrew Anglin, the founder of the virulently antisemitic Daily Stormer website, back to the platform. Don’t look over here, look over there!

At 5:21pm, the Muskboys were still “double-checking some facts,” but eventually Substacker Matt Taibbi delivered a 41-tweet thread showing the company’s Trust and Safety team grappling in good faith with what looked at the time very much like a foreign government hack and/or misinformation operation timed to interfere with the American election. Indeed, this was a grappling which had taken place at multiple conservative media outlets, including Fox and the Wall Street Journal, both of which passed on the story before the New York Post picked it up. This was in part because Rudy Giuliani and Steve Bannon could not demonstrate the provenance of the laptop supposedly belonging to candidate Biden’s son, and they still can’t.

In the event, Taibbi delivered rather less than the promised payload. It was more like a slow dribble of undated email excerpts, copy-pasted together under breathless descriptions, with Taibbi congratulating himself on his impressive emission.

For instance, Taibbi admits that both the Trump administration and the Biden campaign made routine requests that Twitter remove content, and that the company generally obliged, but, he insists Democrats got more of what they wanted.

11. This system wasn't balanced. It was based on contacts. Because Twitter was and is overwhelmingly staffed by people of one political orientation, there were more channels, more ways to complain, open to the left (well, Democrats) than the right. https://t.co/sa1uVRNhuH pic.twitter.com/K1xmqQ0TrD — Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 3, 2022

No proof of this is provided besides a screenshot demonstrating that Twitter employees made almost all their political contributions to Democrats. But Taibbi has no time for throat-clearing about the process.

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“Screw it, let’s jump forward,” he tweeted gamely, after yadda yadda yadda-ing an allegation that Twitter somehow used its power to help one party over the other.

His smoking gun is an email listing five tweets “the Biden team” requested be removed on October 24, 2020 — a full ten days after the New York Post’s original laptop story.

8. By 2020, requests from connected actors to delete tweets were routine. One executive would write to another: “More to review from the Biden team.” The reply would come back: “Handled.” pic.twitter.com/mnv0YZI4af — Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) December 2, 2022

What might said emails contain? Matt Taibbi, a journalist with 30-plus years of experience, does not say. But he and the Muskies are sure this censorship is a sign of nefarious pro-Biden electoral interference.

In point of fact, the tweets featured both family photos of Hunter Biden’s minor children and pictures of his penis, both inside and outside of women, something Taibbi could easily have discovered since he and Bari Weiss are apparently being allowed to paw through company records at will. Hope no one wants to assert privilege over those docs later!

Publishing nude photos without consent is unambiguously a violation of Twitter’s terms of service, and indeed a private platform is free to censor anything it likes. Nonetheless, these brain geniuses are sure that this is a gross violation of the Constitution which will bring down the Republic. Because if websites aren’t obligated to publish pictures of Hunter Biden’s junk, then what even is the First Amendment for?

At the end of the thread, Taibbi declared himself spent, and thanked all who’d helped him reach this journalistic climax, spreading his seeds of truth far and wide. Then the circle of Musk fanboys and MAGA loons buttoned up their raincoats and took to Twitter to, ummm …. praise his wondrous emanation.

“We are witnessing the biggest story in modern presidential election history,” tweeted Pizzagate weirdo Jack Posobiec, adding “We can never go back to the country we were before this moment.”

Meanwhile, Florida’s preeminent law-understander has logged on to say that we should simply cancel the Constitution and put him back in power.

So, with the revelation of MASSIVE & WIDESPREAD FRAUD & DECEPTION in working closely with Big Tech Companies, the DNC, & the Democrat Party, do you throw the Presidential Election Results of 2020 OUT and declare the RIGHTFUL WINNER, or do you have a NEW ELECTION? A Massive Fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution. Our great “Founders” did not want, and would not condone, False & Fraudulent Elections!

“UNPRECEDENTED FRAUD REQUIRES UNPRECEDENTED CURE!” the former president screams into the Truth Social ether. But not on Twitter, the platform which is supposedly revealing all this corruption.

The amazing revelation that Twitter failed to show pictures of Hunter Biden’s bits has thus fair failed to restore Trump to power. Even over at Fox, there seems to be a dawning realization that Musk and Taibbi’s package has failed to impress.

“I feel that Elon Musk has held back some material,” New York Post reporter Miranda Devine, an early proponent of the “laptop from hell” story said wistfully at Fox.

Or maybe not. Maybe Taibbi is just spilling his seed on the ground and all we’ll get out of this thing is some dick pics.

As is our sacred right under the Constitution!

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore where she writes about law and politics.