Biden Pardons Weed Convictions, Fulfilling the ‘Dank Brandon’ Prophecy

With the news that President Joe Biden has pledged to end the United States’ “failed approach” on cannabis, thousands of people who were incarcerated for possession of the drug are poised to receive pardons.

“Sending people to jail for possessing marijuana has upended too many lives — for conduct that is legal in many states,” he declared in a series of tweets outlining new policy, including a promise to reevaluate how cannabis is classified on the federal level. At present, it’s a Schedule I substance, like heroin. (For reference, cocaine and meth are Schedule II.)

First: I’m pardoning all prior federal offenses of simple marijuana possession. There are thousands of people who were previously convicted of simple possession who may be denied employment, housing, or educational opportunities as a result. My pardon will remove this burden. — President Biden (@POTUS) October 6, 2022

Third: We classify marijuana at the same level as heroin – and more serious than fentanyl. It makes no sense. I’m asking @SecBecerra and the Attorney General to initiate the process of reviewing how marijuana is scheduled under federal law. — President Biden (@POTUS) October 6, 2022

Sending people to jail for possessing marijuana has upended too many lives – for conduct that is legal in many states. That’s before you address the clear racial disparities around prosecution and conviction. Today, we begin to right these wrongs. — President Biden (@POTUS) October 6, 2022

These actions are a major step toward the nationwide decriminalization of pot — and as America celebrates the changes to come, “Dank Brandon” is getting lots of love.

The Dank Brandon memes: begun, they have pic.twitter.com/sqWPQCMdde — Don Moynihan (@donmoyn) October 6, 2022

Dank Brandon is the latest evolution of a meme that has taken several twists and turns in the course of this administration. It began with the right-wing slogan “Let’s Go Brandon,” which took off in 2021 after a reporter claimed that a crowd at Talladega Superspeedway race chanting “Fuck Joe Biden” was actually cheering on the winning driver, Brandon Brown. Ever since, “Let’s Go Brandon” has been MAGA code for “Fuck Joe Biden” — a bumper-sticker sentiment not half as clever as conservatives seem to think.

Eventually, however, leftists amused by Republican fear-mongering over a supposedly radical Biden agenda co-opted the Brandon nickname and created “Dark Brandon.” In this permutation, Biden became an all-powerful leader, scoring win after win for liberals and crushing his enemies underfoot. In its exaggerated vision of a laser-eyed president, Dark Brandon content also parodied the QAnon movement’s faith in Donald Trump as a mystical god-emperor engaged in a war with the Deep State.

Finally, as he takes action to reshape drug law, Dark Brandon has become “dank” — a stoner adjective for fragrant, potent weed. And you know he only puffs on the good stuff. Our commander-in-chief is still the same omnipotent Brandon, but he’s never without a joint in hand.

Sure, why not? Pardoning a huge number of citizens who were unjustly imprisoned for cannabis offenses — and wiping many criminal records — is downright dank. And whatever gripes we may have about Biden, it’s fun to hype him up for this win ahead of the midterm elections.

Of course, as we’ve seen, Biden’s identity in the fast-paced ecosystem of memes is always shifting. What kind of Brandon will appear next? That all depends on the strain he’s smoking.