Wonton Killings, Gazpacho Police, Peach Tree Dishes: Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene Make the Case for Congressional IQ Minimums

Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene haven’t been in Congress very long, but they've made big names for themselves so far. As cartoon villains who vote against bills that benefit cancer patients. As bigots who vilify transgender people and want to criminalize transgender medical care. As bat-shit crazy lunatics who believe that Democrats are part of a satanic cult of pedophiles who eat children and that California wildfires are caused by Jewish space lasers. As people in charge of making laws who nevertheless say things like “gazpacho police,” when referring to the gestapo, “peach tree dish," when they mean petri, and “wonton killings,” when the word they were likely looking for was “wanton.”

The latest instance of food-related linguistic terrorism came on Tuesday when Boebert — who is “tired of the this separation of church and state junk” and wants "biblical citizenship training” in schools — read a passage from the Bible about “wanton killings” but pronounced it like the Chinese dumpling. At no point did she appear to realize the error, and in fact seemed to suggest she’d be reading up on what “wonton killings” entail. Are they murders that occur over dim sum? Is it when someone is suffocated with dough and then buried under a pile of ground pork? Has Law & Order: Criminal Intent ever done an episode about them? Hopefully the representative from Colorado will do her own research and let us know.

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Boebert’s rhetorical gaffe, of course, recalls to mind a similar food-related foul-up from earlier this year when Greene, the other half of this Laverne and Shirley duo from hell, attempted to reference Hitler’s secret police squad and instead invoked a little-known law enforcement agency made of cold tomatoes.

Several months later, the congresswoman from Georgia claimed Bill Gates wanted to force people to eat burgers grown in “peach tree dishes.”

Not sure what else there is to say here other than the fact that these women serve as shining examples of why elected officials should have to prove they have an IQ of at least 50 before being sworn into office.

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