The most common reason women cite for relinquishing — by far — is money. I remember speaking with Emily, who, at age 19, had become pregnant with her second child. She was raising her 4-year-old son and was planning to raise her second. Emily described one evening spent sitting in her car in a grocery store parking lot, using the store’s free WiFi to complete her homework while her son napped in the back seat. She was determined to finish high school so she could get a better job and support her children. “And I just burst into tears,” she told me. “I just realized I couldn’t take him. I couldn’t take care of him.” She met with an agency the following week and relinquished her baby when he was born. When we spoke, she had not had contact with him for two years. Many women like Emily turn to adoption when parenting no longer feels tenable and their hopes for their families are thwarted. For them, adoption is not about averting abortion but about a system that makes parenthood a privilege that is beyond their reach.
panzan on December 5th, 2021 at 22:16 UTC »
I was adopted and found my birth mother about 11 years ago when I was 39. She has never, and will never, get over the grief of surrendering me to adoption.
There’s a book called “The Girls Who Went Away,” about other women who were forced to give up their babies to adoption. It will break your heart a thousand times.
It’s horribly cruel to force women to remain pregnant just for them to give the baby away.
MissKellBell on December 5th, 2021 at 18:59 UTC »
Pregnant in my first trimester with Hyperemesis that has kept me out of work for most of the past 5 weeks. I still have 6 months to go and am so fortunate I have paid sick time and flexible schedule. Any other mom in my situation would have lost their job by now. I wouldn’t force this on my worst enemy.
Carbonatite on December 5th, 2021 at 18:22 UTC »
A partial list of pregnancy and labor complications:
Skeletal changes, including bone demineralization
Hair loss
Dermal deformation
Permanent urinary and fecal incontinence
Dental complications including tooth loss
Pre-eclampsia
Intractable back pain
Hemorrhage
Death
I have yet to hear an anti choicer give one example of any other situation in which legislation forces a human being to endure these risks.
Adoption is an alternative to parenthood. It is not an alternative to pregnancy.
Edit: Thank you all for the awards. But please, consider donating your money to an organization like the ACLU or Planned Parenthood that fights for women's reproductive rights. Or RAINN, an organization that helps sexual assault victims.