(UPDATE) The City of Eureka Has Removed the Mysterious Dildo Atop the Old Town Gazebo

UPDATE, 4:19 p.m.: We must regretfully inform you that today’s big fun is now done. Not long after LoCO alerted Eureka City Manager Miles Slattery that he had a new and unique issue on his hands, a pair of city workers showed up in Old Town to remove the skyward-facing phallus that had been sneakily affixed to the roof of the gazebo sometime, we think, in the last day or so.

It was not as easy to get off as you might’ve thought, as you’ll discover in the video above. The first few tugs revealed that our subject was not simply suctioned on as some in the LoCO office first suspected. This thing was totally screwed. As such, the city worker tasked with today’s aerial dildo removal — employee of the month? — called down to his colleague for a vice grip and some channel lock pliers. After a couple suspenseful minutes of twisting and turning… release.

LoCO requested that he hold up his catch for a photo to commemorate this historic occasion. He respectfully declined. We did snap a few during the object’s long removal though.

Original Post: Following deep consideration, LoCO has opted not to run the near 3,000-word pun and innuendo-filled post we’d initially composed after making the startling discovery this morning that someone had attached a dildo to the top of the Old Town Gazebo. Sure, we have many thoughts and questions on the subject! But we’ve ultimately decided the visual speaks for itself.