I grew up with abusive, drug addicted parents. I was always filled with anxiety about having my own kids and wondered if I’d be a good mom. Today is my first Mother’s Day and I gotta say, I’m killing it.

Image from preview.redd.it and submitted by missespanda
image showing I grew up with abusive, drug addicted parents. I was always filled with anxiety about having my own kids and wondered if I’d be a good mom. Today is my first Mother’s Day and I gotta say, I’m killing it.

JW752 on May 10th, 2021 at 04:42 UTC »

Your baby has so much hair!! Cute!! Happy Mother’s Day!

havocLSD on May 10th, 2021 at 04:56 UTC »

Since my birth and until their death, my parent's were extremely violent and abusive alcoholics. Almost every night we would hear them destroying things, smashing stuff and the sounds of physical attacks at one another gave my brother and I nightmares each and every night. They never stopped, it got much worse.

Once when I was around 8 or 9 my mom was hitting my dad in front of us, asked my father if he'd like it if she were dead, proceeded to grab one of his Bic razors and she began slitting her wrists right in font of us. She yelled saying "this is what your father wants" and attacked him, rubbing her blood all over his face. Another time we were at the gas station and she hit him and poured gasoline all over him. Another night my brother and I had to sit up late all night hearing our dad bang on all the windows of the house to be let in cause my mom locked him out—as we feared her, we ignored his cries. Living eleven years of this horror, my father was hit and killed by a car on his way to get alcohol. My mother became extremely depressed and started using meth.

In less then 6 months of our dad dying the school found our truency suspicious and called child protective services for us. Since the age eleven until I aged out at eighteen, my brother and I were in a foster home. My mom drank herself to death shortly after.

Since then, for over a decade and a half I had been inside my head, thinking—what did all this mean, what was I supposed to learn? Why me? When I turned 21 I finally began to drink, since I was afraid drinking under age would turn me into my parents. It didn't matter what age I started drinking; about 9 years ago I became my own alcoholic and three years after I became a severe drug addict like my mom. Long story short, I got clean after two rehab facilities and a treatment center and I am now sober 1 year and 8 months.

I explain all this because just 8 months ago, my wife (who has been incredibly supportive of me and even helped get me sober) gave birth to our first child. Now, I am a father. The first of my name to be born between my brother and I since all our family is dead now. I realized all that thinking and meditation about my father's death, my parent's relationship and where I belong in the whole picture finally made sense.

I used everything I learned up until now to become a great parent that mine never were. I think it's subconscious, but those who have bad parents know how to be good parents. I never wanted my son to know the life I knew. When he looks at me and smiles unconditionally, I am truly happy.

I know we are not perfect, but we made the best of our bad situations. Hopefully our children and the future can benefit from the hurt our parents created in us.

I'm proud of you and I am so happy for your child. Happy mothers day queen.

hiraethian_gardener on May 10th, 2021 at 05:15 UTC »

Don't kill it, it's adorable. I know parenting is hard, but murder is never the answer.