Slayed.

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CutIntelligent209 on February 11st, 2021 at 18:13 UTC »

Real talk, went to get the Covid vaccine and my father couldn’t resist telling me he didn’t want to get it because “GoVeRnMeNt TrAcKiNg” (same for the ancestry test)

I paused and said “but you did 30+ years in the military. They have your name, age, rank, blood, work history, religion, bank info, fingerprints dental records. When you in processed MEPS a government doctor had you spread your cheeks to check your asshole. But NOW you draw the line.”

He laughed and said “yeah, your right!” But I know it went out the other ear like SO.MANY.OTHERSSSSSS

This is a man with TWO masters degrees. You can be smart and still fall prey to false advertising.

TooShiftyForYou on February 11st, 2021 at 18:15 UTC »

"I don't need the government keeping up with my personal information."

20 minutes later

"Hey Facebook friends, here I am at Applebee's!"

The2500 on February 11st, 2021 at 19:13 UTC »

Life Pro Tip: Put a tiny mirror over your picture on your drivers license. That way if you get pulled over the cop will get confused and arrest himself.