life advice

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Rarxd69 on June 11st, 2020 at 05:07 UTC »

höö

JAMES_ATE_MY_WAFFLES on June 11st, 2020 at 05:43 UTC »

"Our first date was going great until he started asking me about doing anal." - Penguin talking to the other penguins

chomputer on June 11st, 2020 at 06:03 UTC »

A penguin is driving his car when it overheats and sputters to a stop.

Luckily, he breaks down right next to a mechanic. He goes in and tells the mechanic what happened. The mechanic says he would be happy to take a look, but he’ll need about an hour. The penguin says okay and walks up the street to pass the time.

After a while, he finds an ice cream shop. He buys an ice cream cone and starts to walk back to the mechanic. Without hands he is making a huge mess. By the time he gets to the mechanic, he’s got ice cream all over his penguin face.

He walks in and the mechanic sees him and says “you blew a seal!”

The penguin looks at him deeply offended, “no dude, it’s just ice cream.”