We have worked very hard to instil the fact that “ accidents happen.” When they were growing up and the 4litre of milk went everywhere? We’d look at each other and say- “accidents happen 🤷♀️” broke mom’s favourite dish and they were apologizing profusely? I’d respond with “what’s one thing we know? Accidents happen”.
We had my sons friend over after school one day, for supper. He spilled his drink. He was mortified. Looked like he was going to be chastised or worse. God bless my stern looking husband, he simply bumped his water, looked over at the kid, shrugged and smiled. “Oh well, accidents happen- nothing a bit of paper towel can’t fix”
Kids should never be scared to make mistakes. We all do, practically every day. And I consciously apologize and admit when I’ve made a mistake or was out of line with my kids. It’s important for them to know that adults are just as fallible.
My dad always made a bad situation worse by taking out his frustrations at the closest living person. Even if he made the mess. That way he could blame you because it must be your fault if he's screaming at you right? Then he'd take away privileges or just do whatever he could to upset you because you made him scream at you by being there. Imagine being actually punished because someone else broke a glass by the person who broke it.
Now I feel guilty anytime anything goes wrong anywhere. Someone's phone missing at a party? Someone else clogged the toliet? I get uncomfortable as fuck. If I was ever questioned for some crime I didn't commit, I'd probably look guilty as fuck.
1999falcon on May 17th, 2020 at 07:47 UTC »
Well done you. I grew up in constant fear of my father blowing up . My aim was to have a happy non fearful child . I think I succeeded.
mommastang on May 17th, 2020 at 07:57 UTC »
We have worked very hard to instil the fact that “ accidents happen.” When they were growing up and the 4litre of milk went everywhere? We’d look at each other and say- “accidents happen 🤷♀️” broke mom’s favourite dish and they were apologizing profusely? I’d respond with “what’s one thing we know? Accidents happen”.
We had my sons friend over after school one day, for supper. He spilled his drink. He was mortified. Looked like he was going to be chastised or worse. God bless my stern looking husband, he simply bumped his water, looked over at the kid, shrugged and smiled. “Oh well, accidents happen- nothing a bit of paper towel can’t fix”
Kids should never be scared to make mistakes. We all do, practically every day. And I consciously apologize and admit when I’ve made a mistake or was out of line with my kids. It’s important for them to know that adults are just as fallible.
KARMAHARMAHAR on May 17th, 2020 at 08:39 UTC »
My dad always made a bad situation worse by taking out his frustrations at the closest living person. Even if he made the mess. That way he could blame you because it must be your fault if he's screaming at you right? Then he'd take away privileges or just do whatever he could to upset you because you made him scream at you by being there. Imagine being actually punished because someone else broke a glass by the person who broke it.
Now I feel guilty anytime anything goes wrong anywhere. Someone's phone missing at a party? Someone else clogged the toliet? I get uncomfortable as fuck. If I was ever questioned for some crime I didn't commit, I'd probably look guilty as fuck.