North Korea rewrites basketball rules

Authored by heraldsun.com.au and submitted by lopezjessy

FORMER North Korean leader Kim Jong-il's self-reported 38-under round of golf is nothing compared to what his son Kim Jong-un has cooked up on the basketball court.

We all remember the shockwaves felt throughout the golfing world when North Korea's state-run media revealed Tiger Woods' golfing ability was a very distant second to that of their 'Dear Leader'.

Kim reportedly nailed 11 holes-in-one and shot a 38-under par round of 34 the first time he ever picked up a club, at Pyongyang Golf Course in 1994.

The report was verified by 17 trusty security guards, who all agreed Kim shot no worse than a birdie on any hole and recorded a score 21 shots better than any professional golfer in history.

Incredible stuff from a 52-year-old who'd never played the game before.

But North Korea - now ruled by Kim's son Kim Jong-un - has turned its game-changing attentions to basketball, reinventing the scoring system.

Forget about the final moments of a game taking half an hour as teams relentlessly send each other to the free throw line.

Why not continue to shoot field goals, which quadruple in value to eight points during the last three minutes?

Or get yourself a bonus point for a slam dunk?

The full list of rules includes:

- Slam dunks are worth three points (up from two)

- Field goals in the final three minutes of the game are worth eight points (up from two)

- Three-pointers are worth four if the ball doesn't touch the rim

- A point is deducted for missed free throws

One thing's for sure - there'll be no North Korean renaissance for Shaquille O'Neal, with his famously horrific career free throw success rate of just over 50 per cent.

*** And if you're after a laugh, enjoy this NBA Jam re-make - Kim Jong style.

AngryRepublican on January 25th, 2020 at 18:58 UTC »

8 point field goals in the final minutes is some Harry Potter snitch-catching bullshit.

Autski on January 25th, 2020 at 16:52 UTC »

Wouldn't it make logical sense, then, to intentionally foul the worst free-thrower so they can damage themselves?

sandrews1313 on January 25th, 2020 at 14:37 UTC »

Dennis rodman appears to have crafted these rules. Really surprised he doesn't claim points on a block or rebound.