The World Unites on One Thing: No One Wants a Princess Bride Remake

We are living, the conventional wisdom goes, in particularly divisive times. Each day it can seem harder to think about things upon which Americans can really all agree—whether it be politics or which Star Wars sequels are good and which supposedly ruined the franchise forever. But countrymen, I do believe we have found one cause behind which all can rally: Nobody wants a Princess Bride remake.

A recent Variety story about Princess Bride producer Norman Lear’s new deal with Sony first introduced this hypothetical possibility. Sony Pictures Entertainment CEO Tony Vinciquerra told Variety, “We have so many people coming to us saying, ‘We want to remake this show or that show.’ Very famous people whose names I won’t use, but they want to redo The Princess Bride.” (Lear produced several films through his company Act III Productions, including Princess Bride and Fried Green Tomatoes.)

The reaction has been swift. Cary Elwes, who starred in the 1987 comedy as Westley, slipped into his old character’s voice as he tweeted, “There’s a shortage of perfect movies in this world. It would be a pity to damage this one.” Chris Miller, one half of the “Lord and Miller” team behind the likes of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and The Lego Movie, chimed in as well: “For the record, not us,” he wrote, indicating it was neither him nor Phil Lord who suggested a retread to Sony. “Love the movie—it still holds up as the greatest meta story put to film,” Miller wrote. “Also, the way you know it’s not us is the use of the phrase ‘very famous.’”

Even Ted Cruz, who has often deployed pop-culture references in an apparent attempt at likability, got in on the Princess Bride commentary train, tweet-shouting, “NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Sonny [sic], The Princess Bride is the greatest thing, in the world—except for a nice MLT, mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They’re so perky, I love that. DON’T MESS WITH PERFECTION.”

To be clear, the consensus on social media is not that the movie is actually good: There are die-hards, like those above, campaigning to avoid a remake of the film to protect what they love, but there are also some jokingly suggesting that the film get remade so that, perhaps, it will be good this time around. (Let it be known that Vanity Fair is not taking sides in this admittedly dogged debate, nor will we snitch-tag any Princess Bride haters here. You know they exist.) That said, yes, the supporters have been vocal: Jamie Lee Curtis, wife of Six-Fingered Man actor Sir Christopher Guest, retweeted Variety’s story and countered with a modified quote of her own: “Oh really? Well, I married the six fingered man, obviously why we have stayed together for 35 years and there is only ONE The Princess Bride and it’s William Goldman and @robreiner’s. ‘Life is pain highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something!’”