That's a good excuse

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sassydodo on August 13rd, 2019 at 15:46 UTC »

weed is prescribed for my migraine and cocaine got in my blood when I was licking strippers butt

hamithesquirrel on August 13rd, 2019 at 17:42 UTC »

I’m a medical student currently and I legit had a guy tell us he failed his opioid test because of poppyseed bagels. For some reason he admitted to using cocaine a lot, but not opioids.

I-Codes-Things on August 13rd, 2019 at 18:36 UTC »

Here is how you beat any drug test!

Get your mom to piss in an empty eardrop bottle. Eyedrop bottles are acceptable as well. The important part is not the bottle you idiot. It can be anything but it must be cleaned very well. How to explain why Tabasco sauce is in your pee?

So now you have yours moms piss in your bottle of juice. Next get some super glue. Any brand works. The important part, you idiot, is to glue it to your thigh to keep your moms piss warm. If you're a man you can glue it to your dick as well. I don't recommend this.

Now when it comes time for the test you piss normally into the cup with one exception. What you do, you idiot, is squeeze your moms piss bottle into the cup. Don't be shy! Squeeze that shit like your milking a cow. You want them to hear that sweet sweet stream.

That is all. If you have a parole officer situation this makes it more tricky. They have a pee fetish. They watch. So in the case of a man, unfortunately you must glue to your dick. No other safe choice. For women put it in your pussy and kegel time. If you're not strong enough, use meth before the test. It will help.