Plaintiff is a Clerk of the court! Contesting Domestic Restraining Order! : legaladvice

Hello all looking for any and all help.

I got into this pickle as I was recently in and out of the clerk of court's office (around April) as I was changing my name legally. Well there was a super cute girl (am M/28 not gross looking or acting) in the office who helped me with some paperwork and I started to flirt with her and ask her if she'd go out with me sometime coffee or something casual. She said she had helped with my paperwork so there was a conflict of interest and besides she had been seeing a guy for a year. It's was all cool I told her I wasn't really serious as had separated from the mother of my children in Feb and knew I still had feelings for her so whatever you go your way I'll go mine. Mentioned Mother of my darling children had new boyfriend though so I was justified in seeking out great companion material or just casual coffee date friends. I asked for her number anyway though laughing saying if she's not serious about the guy she should give me a shot one day haha. Smiling she said nah. I left it at that with some flirty after glow but she seemed into it and seemed like she thought I was cute.

So I over the next few months getting the flirty smiley bone (not every month though missed her once and left , and another time skipped it and another asked her coworkers to say I stopped by when she was out) would come in as I had child support to pay in the building and would say Hi and ask her if she wanted that coffee yet heh. Declined but sweetly every time like mmm nah I really can't. I saw her on Facebook (did not search her out) and added her because mutual friends. Did not check back in on the status of the request or her that way again it left my mind but would think about her when it was child support time of the month- she was in the same building. Maybe long game chance with her who knows. But last week saw her on tinder so knew she wasn't with a guy.

Anyway yesterday was in to pay more child support again and like a dummy wannabe James Dean walked in and a different lady asked if she could help me I said no only in here to talk to her. I go "Hey **, you know this isn't going to work if you're you're not being honest with me." & she said "excuse me?" I go "I heard you weren't dating anyone" so she instantly gets scornful to a degree I've never imagined her being & know maybe it was a bad day but said very intensely "Is there anything official I can help you with. Sir." I put my hands up instantly knowing things had gone wayyyyy south and said "I'm sorry was only hoping to try again. I think you're a nice person. Sorry for bothering you." & instantly walked out of there.

Went to pay my child support at the treasurers office and as I came out there was an officer of the court house waiting for me asked me my name said rudely I won't be coming in here without official business and I need to leave her alone. I said ok and I was extremely sorry and if he could pass it to her. He said I'd be getting a call from the city. Nervous I left after he took my number.

Got a call from an officer for a warning he needed to give me for trespassing of all things he seemed to respect my position as honestly she had never once verbally or physically communicated she wasn't enjoying me or my conversation as we had had one or two real ones besides business flirting or astrological signs or the ring she wears or attempts for coffee and I knew I shouldn't have led off with an accusation regardless. Offered to meet him at the police station instead of a deputy to my house to hand me the warning and when I met him and shook hands there he said he respected me for that so seemed all good and case closed I got it right.

Well last night 2 AM fresh out the academy deputy sheriff is cop knocking the heck out of my door scared me awake sideways and he served me papers for the temporary restraining order and court date next week for a hearing for what looks like harassment/ domestic violence long term restraining order.

Went to see a lawyer today I had known from family court turns out it was his aide who had been dating her but they recently broke up (Should've led with a question instead of an accusation ha she was single! Fml) so he won't touch it. Said he anticipated majority of the lawyers/ attorneys in my reasonably sized town wouldn't want to go to bat against home team clerk of court situation. So looking at other options of hard headed justice warriors my retainer and hours total would be looking like 2500-$3500 just for the one hearing.

So thinking I'm going at it pro se to not break my fragile child support and living alone rent bank, and heard from original attorney that I do not have to file any paperwork response through the court to be able to communicate my side of things at the hearing. (Is that true?)

As she never said stop or go away or don't contact me here and I didn't know until the papers served she had blocked me on Facebook as I didn't look her up I'm just confused and nervous. She never said anything but now this court proceeding whether it is dismissed or sticks will be on my record permanently on my C-Cap or court access online. That could really impact my ability to get jobs or my family court standing or personal opinion more importantly of the mother of my children not to mention scaring me awake at 2am or worried I'm getting charged with something.

I never want to see this (26~ yrs old mind you so in my range) girl again and feel stupid if she thought I was harassing her or stalking her when she knew I was there for other official business anyway and was flirty and sweet in response every time. But suddenly she can get a restraining order just like that and screw up my biz because whatever?

Again was thinking lawyer so he could write her a letter for me explaining how bad I feel and how if we could both avoid the embarrassment and time and stress to drop it somehow. But learning that it can't be taken down from my easily accessible C-cap ever is disheartening and 2 grand plus for a letter hoping for an ice cubes chance in hell or some support at a one time hearing is sounding less and less like a good idea when it seems like my defense is realistic I mean I never meant her any harm and if there were signs to me she wasn't into it or I noticed she had blocked me on book face I would've left it completely alone. Thought I was just being silly and flirty but she got so cold so fast no warning and now this.

So asking for any advice. I was thinking write up something (would memorize it anyway) to say to the judge or official if he/she wouldn't mind could I read it explaining my side as seen here & how honestly genuinely sincerely regretful I am for distressing her and will before God never be attempting to contact her again. I realize not wanting to sound like an emotional mess or idiot or desperate is paramount but certainly humble and remorseful. Not bad with words or written intent like I said have been in and out of the offices of the court situationals to handle it. But what should I do it say to help my chances of a dismissal? I live in WI but was told by lawyer two (set up consultation tomorrow see what I can gather besides all this) that there is no chance of it getting expunged off C-Cap. Have heard dismissed restraining orders don't show on background checks though but who wouldn't check court records for a free and easy look see? Is that true they don't show? Someone else said it might after a year come off the court records if dismissed?

I don't know everyone, head is spinning. Never meant anything creepy or weird and now this is a real pain especially considering getting off work for the hearing & my future how this could change things for job opportunities dismissed or not and like I mentioned the opinion of the mother of my children.. who based on her body language may or may not want to rekindle things one day but has checked court records on me before. sigh

Any advice would be extremely appreciated!!!