Every time they talk over you, stop talking. Then wait a bit before talking again. If they keep doing it, just keep waiting longer.
Eventually, even the dimmest people get it. Although, I did cancel a conference call once because the customer kept interrupting. He was much better on the reschedule. (Do NOT do this unless you are senior enough to get away with it.)
"I'm on the website and It says my username is not right, but I've been using this username for 40 years."
Ma'am, this service is only 4 years old.
"Well I've had this username for 40 years."
Ma'am, what website are you on?
"I'm on your website."
No, I mean, what service are you trying to log into?
"Your website."
Okay, let me rephrase this, what--
"Look, I'm not stupid, I know what I'm trying to do, I just want into the website and it's telling me the username is wrong and that's not right, because I know my username."
Alright, look, I need to know what website you are trying to log into and the exact error message to figure out where you've gone wrong, so please look up at the--
"Okay, I haven't done anything wrong, so first you get that straight, and second, I have been using this username for 40 years and my password hasn't changed once in that time."
Ma'am, looking at your account, it appears that you performed a manual password reset six times in the last three months, but this is only one of our services, and we have multiple services that use different credentials so in order to assist--
"Look, I've already told you what the problem is, so just reset the server or whatever because last time this happened, they told me how to reset the server and it fixed the problem, so just reset your server and everything will be fine."
Ma'am, if I cannot get the name of the specific service that you are trying to log into, I'm going to have to end this call.
"It's just the website."
Okay ma'am, I'm going to assume that you are talking about our catalogue service and continue as though that's the case. What's the exact error message you are receiving.
"It says my username is wrong."
Read the exact error message aloud to me.
"Username or password combination is invalid."
Okay, I'm going to reset your password to 1234 temporarily and push a forced password reset on next login. Give that a shot.
"I'm not consenting to my password being changed. I've had the same password for 40 years."
Ma'am, this service went live four years ago. You assuredly have not had the same password for 40 years in this service --
"I do not want my password changed. I haven't even gotten to the part where I enter my password, I'm just trying to enter my username."
Ma'am, do you see the box that says password below username?
"Yes. I haven't gotten to it, so I haven't put anything in it yet. It just keeps telling me my username is wrong."
Please enter your password in that box before you hit the log-in button.
"Okay... Well, look, I just asked you to reset your server, so if you could just--"
Ma'am, please enter your password in the box before you hit the log-in button.
"Well, look here, I am not stupid--"
Ma'am. Please. The error message indicates that you did not--
"Look, I'm just gonna call back and get someone competent."
Shuggaloaf on July 17th, 2019 at 21:26 UTC »
I don't think this is funny young man and how do you know what I look like?
TheNaughtyMonkey on July 17th, 2019 at 23:39 UTC »
Every time they talk over you, stop talking. Then wait a bit before talking again. If they keep doing it, just keep waiting longer.
Eventually, even the dimmest people get it. Although, I did cancel a conference call once because the customer kept interrupting. He was much better on the reschedule. (Do NOT do this unless you are senior enough to get away with it.)
PM_ME_JAR_JAR_NUDES on July 17th, 2019 at 23:45 UTC »
I had a Lorraine today:
"I'm on the website and It says my username is not right, but I've been using this username for 40 years."
Ma'am, this service is only 4 years old.
"Well I've had this username for 40 years."
Ma'am, what website are you on?
"I'm on your website."
No, I mean, what service are you trying to log into?
"Your website."
Okay, let me rephrase this, what--
"Look, I'm not stupid, I know what I'm trying to do, I just want into the website and it's telling me the username is wrong and that's not right, because I know my username."
Alright, look, I need to know what website you are trying to log into and the exact error message to figure out where you've gone wrong, so please look up at the--
"Okay, I haven't done anything wrong, so first you get that straight, and second, I have been using this username for 40 years and my password hasn't changed once in that time."
Ma'am, looking at your account, it appears that you performed a manual password reset six times in the last three months, but this is only one of our services, and we have multiple services that use different credentials so in order to assist--
"Look, I've already told you what the problem is, so just reset the server or whatever because last time this happened, they told me how to reset the server and it fixed the problem, so just reset your server and everything will be fine."
Ma'am, if I cannot get the name of the specific service that you are trying to log into, I'm going to have to end this call.
"It's just the website."
Okay ma'am, I'm going to assume that you are talking about our catalogue service and continue as though that's the case. What's the exact error message you are receiving.
"It says my username is wrong."
Read the exact error message aloud to me.
"Username or password combination is invalid."
Okay, I'm going to reset your password to 1234 temporarily and push a forced password reset on next login. Give that a shot.
"I'm not consenting to my password being changed. I've had the same password for 40 years."
Ma'am, this service went live four years ago. You assuredly have not had the same password for 40 years in this service --
"I do not want my password changed. I haven't even gotten to the part where I enter my password, I'm just trying to enter my username."
Ma'am, do you see the box that says password below username?
"Yes. I haven't gotten to it, so I haven't put anything in it yet. It just keeps telling me my username is wrong."
Please enter your password in that box before you hit the log-in button.
"Okay... Well, look, I just asked you to reset your server, so if you could just--"
Ma'am, please enter your password in the box before you hit the log-in button.
"Well, look here, I am not stupid--"
Ma'am. Please. The error message indicates that you did not--
"Look, I'm just gonna call back and get someone competent."