My (22) ex girlfriend (20) just filed an abuse protection order on me. I have never been violent towards her or threatened her with violence. Do I have a chance to prove it’s unnecessary or is it almo

Okay I really need some help. I also apologize in advance for the length. I tried to put as much information as I could. So my ex and I have been on and off since October when she cheated on me. I broke up with her when it happened but still gave her the opportunity to explain herself and say what she had to say. I was devastated because I seriously loved the heck out of this girl and never felt like that with anyone else before. So a little time passes and I forgive her and we give things another go. Except right after the first time we slept together again she found out she had herpes and confronted the guy she cheated with and he denied having it. So of course she questions me and I never had symptoms or anything but still went to the doctors and had to explain everything which was terrible but the doctor told me if I never had any symptoms before it was highly unlikely from me. But still I had guilt and felt like I had given it to her. Except the guy finally admitted to it after saying he’d go and get checked.

She had originally met the guy at school orientation I believe because they were both orientation leaders and they spent two consecutive weeks together and she broke up with me late June of last year when she went for it. Then a week after she gets back home she breaks up with him and comes back to me. So things were great from then on until October, until she cheated. We got past it and fast forward to June of this year when she has to go back again. She started acting very distant and she sent me 3 snapchats with him in them her very first day which just made me feel terrible. I told her that if she was planning to do the same thing she did last year then just be straight up with me and tell me if she’s talking to him behind my back so I can walk away before I get too reinvested again since she had just broken up with me and gotten back just weeks before.

I dealt with super heavy depression every time she broke up with me and it was like every time I started to find my happiness without her again she’d come back and tell me how much she loved me. So she was telling me that it was nothing and I had nothing to worry about but it was like 9pm and she said she was playing a game with the other leaders and she was “so sorry and would text me in a few” so I waited up for hours but I had work at 6 so I fell asleep. I woke up to see her with a bunch of texts a little after midnight talking about I should be trying to pull her harder and she shouldn’t even be talking to me after all the times I’ve hurt her feelings. She said I shouldn’t be able to tell her not to talk to that guy and I was being controlling for saying that even though I just told her it was either me or him pretty much. So when I woke up at like 4:50am still half asleep I got super emotional and sent her a bunch of texts talking about how she has no idea what it’s like to be hurt considering how depressed I was and wanted to end things for myself at one point which I know is not the answer but I can’t explain how I felt during those times and just wanted it to stop.

So this is where I fucked up. About a month before I had known a certain family member had kept what I remembered to be a gun in their closet and I was at a low point and grabbed the gun and just sat there crying. I talked myself out of it and really told myself that I had to figure it out because I knew I wanted to live I just wanted the pain to stop. So I took a picture of it so I could remind myself later on in life when I was truly happy and just be thankful that I never did anything. Here’s my biggest mistake, I sent the picture to her just because she tries saying that when I tell her I struggle with that she thinks I’m just lying and trying to manipulate her which I’ve never lied about anything to her. So she didn’t take it well when she woke up and responded because she just started telling me that I was being abusive by sending that and she told her dad and he called me while I was at work and left me a voicemail saying we needed to talk. I started having terrible anxiety at work and I asked my ex/girlfriend why she told her dad and she said I sent her a pic of a gun so she had to. Then she said she didn’t like me anymore and it was over. I just apologized and tried explaining to her that in no way, shape or form was that meant to hurt, manipulate, scare, threaten her or anything at all. It was me trying to get her to understand what I’ve been through and how badly I’ve been hurting and I still always let her back into my heart after it. She never answered my apologies and I left it at that.

I think a week later goes by and I see that she was looking at my social media stuff so I sent her a message just telling her how sorry I was again and how much she meant to me and I know I make mistakes but I’ve always been good to her. She told me to leave her alone and she didn’t want to be in a relationship or be friends with me at all. So I asked her if it was because of the picture or something before and she said it was the picture. I just told her how sorry I was again and then I checked out her page and I saw that she had posted a picture of the kid she cheated with only two days after that night and tagged him so I messaged him and honestly did lose my temper and don’t even remember exactly what I said but I definitely told him I wanted to fuck him up and he’s a piece of shit for giving her herpes and I should have talked to him way sooner. I said like let’s meet up sooner than later or something Idek. It takes a lot for me to get angry and lose my cool like that but I was so pissed that I never even called him out months ago and then he came back and was talking to her again.

So then I messed up again and made an instagram account named “_____WithTheHerpes” and the bio said his school name with his first name and just last initial. I also wrote “I like to sleep with guy’s girlfriends and give the gift that keeps on giving. Yes I have herpes” and I put a generic photo from the internet of a herpes outbreak. Then followed random people from the school including him. So I got a text from her saying “take down that fake profile of _____. If not then I’m going to take this to the police.” I said why so you can be all over Instagram together posting pics and you don’t want people to know the truth? So she blocked me and her dad texted me telling me I was not welcomed anymore at all and they had already sent screenshots of the gun and the Instagram profile to the police and a restraining order was coming my way asap. I responded when the page was down and said please don’t do that because I don’t want anything on my record especially because I graduate this fall and will be applying for jobs. I said I’d never contact his daughter again and I was sorry for everything. The next day I get a call from the police while I was at work to come into the station or they would come to my job or house. I said I would come as soon as I got out of work and I got served an abuse prevention order. I’m freaking out and don’t know what to do.

The court date is one week and I’m scared to talk to my parents or anyone about it for that matter. I have never ever ever threatened or laid a finger on her. Never have I ever thought about and I never would no matter what. Even when she told me she had herpes I was nothing but supporting and told her that it didn’t change who she was and even if I couldn’t be with her again romantically I’d always be there for her with anything. So I’m terrified of what’s to come and don’t know how to prepare for court or if I should get a lawyer or if I should could just prove to the judge that i am no threat to her whatsoever. I have no issue bringing in full pictures of text conversations with context of everything. I in no way threatened her and literally explained right when I sent the picture that I was depressed and wanted to end it for myself. Do I honestly need a lawyer for this? The officers said that things like this happen all the time and I really don’t think that there’s anything that she could say that would make the judge think I’m a threat to her.

tldr; my ex who cheated on me, got herpes and put me through emotional hell with on and off breakups, started to repeat her past tendencies and I told her how badly it’s hurt me and made me depressed and wanting to end my life. I sent her a picture of the gun I had in my hands at one point which actually turned out to be a very real looking BB gun but explained that it had nothing to do with her directly and just some suicidal thoughts I had. I literally told her if she planned on talking to the same guy that did this to us then I just be straightforward and tell me before I let my guard down and fall back into depression. She tells me she doesn’t want anything to do with me and I just apologized and left it at that for a week. Then I messaged her apologizing again and telling her how much I missed her but she said she didn’t want to be friends or anything anymore. So I messaged that guy and went off on him saying how I was gonna fuck him him up and I should’ve a long time ago. And he’s a piece of shit for everything he’s done. Then I made a fake page called “____WithTheHerpes” but never used his photo or full name. And said “I like to sleep with guy’s girlfriends and give the gift that keeps going. Yes I have herpes” then her dad texted me telling me they sent screenshots of everything to the police and a restraining order is coming. Which they really did file and the hearing is in a week. Do I have any chance of proving to the judge that it’s unnecessary for an abuse protection order and I don’t pose a threat to her or anyone else? I just want this all to be over at this point. I should have moved on a while ago.