steamed MEFO hams

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bambaaduoma on December 19th, 2018 at 19:03 UTC »

You said we were going to have world peace!

ahhh did i say world peace? no no no I ment world war and a holocaust

AceOfCarbon on December 19th, 2018 at 19:44 UTC »

Poland? Ohoho- no, patented lebensraum, old German territory.

-Montgomery- on December 19th, 2018 at 20:46 UTC »

HITLER: Well Duce, I made it, despite your directions.

MUSSOLINI: Ah, Fuhrer! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable world war!

HITLER: yeah...

MUSSOLINI: gasp Oh egads! My army isn't fully modernised! But what if... I were to invade weak Mediterranean countries and disguise that as victory? Oh hohoho... delightfully devilish, Mussolini!

HITLER: ah-

*<intro theme plays>

Mussolini with his crazy invasions,

The Fuhrer's gonna need to save the situation,

when you hear Mussolini's lame rationalisations there'll be trouble in Roma tonight!

<intro theme ends>

HITLER: MUUUUUUUUSSOOOOOOLIIIINIIIIIII!

MUSSOLINI: Ah Fuhrer I was just, uh, bringing Greece under the yoke of fascism! Island warfare, care to join me?

HITLER: Why are there defeats coming out of North Africa, Mussolini?

MUSSOLINI: Oh that's not defeat, it's tactical retreat! Tactical retreats for all the counter-attacks we'll be having! mmmm! Counter-attacks! Phew!

MUSSOLINI: Mr Hitler, I hope you're ready for the strategic withdrawal!

HITLER: I thought we were having counter-attacks?

MUSSOLINI: Oh, no! I said 'strategic withdrawal'! That's what I call counter-attacks!

HITLER: You call counter-attacks 'strategic withdrawal'?

MUSSOLINI: Yes! It's fascist theory.

HITLER: Uh huh. What sort?

MUSSOLINI: ...nationalist.

HITLER: Really. Well i'm from the National Socialist German Workers Party and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'strategic withdrawal'.

MUSSOLINI: Oh not German national socialism, no. It's an Italian fascist expression.

HITLER: I see.

HITLER: You know this strategic withdrawal is quite similar to the defeat the Russians had in WWI.

MUSSOLINI: Oh hohohoho no! Classic Italian fascist strategic withdrawal, an old long con technique!

HITLER: For counter-attacks.

MUSSOLINI: Yes!

HITLER: Yes, and you call them strategic withdrawals despite the fact that they are obviously routs.

MUSSOLINI: y- uh- you know- One thing I sh- Excuse me for one second.

HITLER: Of course.

MUSSOLINI: Aaaaaa well. That was wonderful. Good time was had by all, I'm pooped.

HITLER: Yes i should be- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?

MUSSOLINI: Victory parades.

HITLER: V- Victory Parades. At this time of year, At this time of day, After so many defeats, Localized entirely within peninsular italy?

MUSSOLINI: Yes!

HITLER: May i see them?

MUSSOLINI: No.

ITALY: Mussolini! The allies are invading!

MUSSOLINI: No cittadini, it's just victory parades.

HITLER: Well Mussolini, I must say, you are an odd Duce. But you stage a good strategic withdrawal.

<exit HITLER>

ITALY: HELP! HEEEEEEELP!

This is not mine, I stole it from /u/FranzJosephTheFirst