HITLER: Well Duce, I made it, despite your directions.
MUSSOLINI: Ah, Fuhrer! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable world war!
HITLER: yeah...
MUSSOLINI: gasp Oh egads! My army isn't fully modernised! But what if... I were to invade weak Mediterranean countries and disguise that as victory? Oh hohoho... delightfully devilish, Mussolini!
HITLER: ah-
*<intro theme plays>
Mussolini with his crazy invasions,
The Fuhrer's gonna need to save the situation,
when you hear Mussolini's lame rationalisations there'll be trouble in Roma tonight!
<intro theme ends>
HITLER: MUUUUUUUUSSOOOOOOLIIIINIIIIIII!
MUSSOLINI: Ah Fuhrer I was just, uh, bringing Greece under the yoke of fascism! Island warfare, care to join me?
HITLER: Why are there defeats coming out of North Africa, Mussolini?
MUSSOLINI: Oh that's not defeat, it's tactical retreat! Tactical retreats for all the counter-attacks we'll be having! mmmm! Counter-attacks! Phew!
MUSSOLINI: Mr Hitler, I hope you're ready for the strategic withdrawal!
HITLER: I thought we were having counter-attacks?
MUSSOLINI: Oh, no! I said 'strategic withdrawal'! That's what I call counter-attacks!
HITLER: You call counter-attacks 'strategic withdrawal'?
MUSSOLINI: Yes! It's fascist theory.
HITLER: Uh huh. What sort?
MUSSOLINI: ...nationalist.
HITLER: Really. Well i'm from the National Socialist German Workers Party and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'strategic withdrawal'.
MUSSOLINI: Oh not German national socialism, no. It's an Italian fascist expression.
HITLER: I see.
HITLER: You know this strategic withdrawal is quite similar to the defeat the Russians had in WWI.
MUSSOLINI: Oh hohohoho no! Classic Italian fascist strategic withdrawal, an old long con technique!
HITLER: For counter-attacks.
MUSSOLINI: Yes!
HITLER: Yes, and you call them strategic withdrawals despite the fact that they are obviously routs.
MUSSOLINI: y- uh- you know- One thing I sh- Excuse me for one second.
HITLER: Of course.
MUSSOLINI: Aaaaaa well. That was wonderful. Good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
HITLER: Yes i should be- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?
MUSSOLINI: Victory parades.
HITLER: V- Victory Parades. At this time of year, At this time of day, After so many defeats, Localized entirely within peninsular italy?
MUSSOLINI: Yes!
HITLER: May i see them?
MUSSOLINI: No.
ITALY: Mussolini! The allies are invading!
MUSSOLINI: No cittadini, it's just victory parades.
HITLER: Well Mussolini, I must say, you are an odd Duce. But you stage a good strategic withdrawal.
bambaaduoma on December 19th, 2018 at 19:03 UTC »
You said we were going to have world peace!
ahhh did i say world peace? no no no I ment world war and a holocaust
AceOfCarbon on December 19th, 2018 at 19:44 UTC »
Poland? Ohoho- no, patented lebensraum, old German territory.
-Montgomery- on December 19th, 2018 at 20:46 UTC »
HITLER: Well Duce, I made it, despite your directions.
MUSSOLINI: Ah, Fuhrer! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable world war!
HITLER: yeah...
MUSSOLINI: gasp Oh egads! My army isn't fully modernised! But what if... I were to invade weak Mediterranean countries and disguise that as victory? Oh hohoho... delightfully devilish, Mussolini!
HITLER: ah-
*<intro theme plays>
Mussolini with his crazy invasions,
The Fuhrer's gonna need to save the situation,
when you hear Mussolini's lame rationalisations there'll be trouble in Roma tonight!
<intro theme ends>
HITLER: MUUUUUUUUSSOOOOOOLIIIINIIIIIII!
MUSSOLINI: Ah Fuhrer I was just, uh, bringing Greece under the yoke of fascism! Island warfare, care to join me?
HITLER: Why are there defeats coming out of North Africa, Mussolini?
MUSSOLINI: Oh that's not defeat, it's tactical retreat! Tactical retreats for all the counter-attacks we'll be having! mmmm! Counter-attacks! Phew!
MUSSOLINI: Mr Hitler, I hope you're ready for the strategic withdrawal!
HITLER: I thought we were having counter-attacks?
MUSSOLINI: Oh, no! I said 'strategic withdrawal'! That's what I call counter-attacks!
HITLER: You call counter-attacks 'strategic withdrawal'?
MUSSOLINI: Yes! It's fascist theory.
HITLER: Uh huh. What sort?
MUSSOLINI: ...nationalist.
HITLER: Really. Well i'm from the National Socialist German Workers Party and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'strategic withdrawal'.
MUSSOLINI: Oh not German national socialism, no. It's an Italian fascist expression.
HITLER: I see.
HITLER: You know this strategic withdrawal is quite similar to the defeat the Russians had in WWI.
MUSSOLINI: Oh hohohoho no! Classic Italian fascist strategic withdrawal, an old long con technique!
HITLER: For counter-attacks.
MUSSOLINI: Yes!
HITLER: Yes, and you call them strategic withdrawals despite the fact that they are obviously routs.
MUSSOLINI: y- uh- you know- One thing I sh- Excuse me for one second.
HITLER: Of course.
MUSSOLINI: Aaaaaa well. That was wonderful. Good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
HITLER: Yes i should be- GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?
MUSSOLINI: Victory parades.
HITLER: V- Victory Parades. At this time of year, At this time of day, After so many defeats, Localized entirely within peninsular italy?
MUSSOLINI: Yes!
HITLER: May i see them?
MUSSOLINI: No.
ITALY: Mussolini! The allies are invading!
MUSSOLINI: No cittadini, it's just victory parades.
HITLER: Well Mussolini, I must say, you are an odd Duce. But you stage a good strategic withdrawal.
<exit HITLER>
ITALY: HELP! HEEEEEEELP!
This is not mine, I stole it from /u/FranzJosephTheFirst