We all had a brief chuckle when Confederate flag-loving rap-rocker Kid Rock teased a Michigan Senate run, then a spiraling onset of gut-roiling horror when we realized he’d probably win. The artist otherwise known as Bob Ritchie eventually revealed that the whole thing was a publicity stunt, but not before he forced us to imagine him “standing on the desk of the Oval Office like a G” and “holdin’ my dick ready to address the whole country.”
One should be punished for making us endure such torture, but The Washington Post reports that the FEC has dismissed a complaint brought against the rocker by election watchdog group Common Cause. Last year, Common Cause objected to Ritchie’s selling merch with slogans like “Kid Rock For Senate ’18", citing that the Federal Election Campaign Act requires candidates to track and report donations and campaign contributions. Ritchie fired back by telling them to (sigh) go fuck themselves.
In a report that must’ve made whoever wrote it disappear into their liquor cabinet for a few days, the FEC says that Ritchie couldn’t have run under the name “Kid Rock,” and that his comments on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM radio show saying he wouldn’t run were enough to exonerate him. Furthermore, they note he didn’t seem “to have taken even the most basic steps to become a candidate.” Quelle surprise.
Earlier this year, he donated the money he made shilling his “campaign” merch to CRNC Action, a conservative voter-registration group affiliated with the College Republicans. He also campaigned for Trump-approved candidate John James, who lost to incumbent Debbie Stabenow.
This, of course, hasn’t stopped people from thinking that Kid Rock is now a senator.
BradMarchandsNose on November 26th, 2018 at 20:43 UTC »
I’m kind of confused why he couldn’t use his nickname. They don’t really explain it. I don’t have a problem with it one way or another but if Rafael Edward Cruz (for example) can run as “Ted” where do they draw the line? I think it’s pretty common for candidates to use a nickname on the ballot.
By the way, I’m not trying to turn this into a political argument, I’m just genuinely curious.
justduett on November 26th, 2018 at 20:08 UTC »
From the article:
There are really people that believe he not only ran, but won?! Sheesh.
Also, I can't remember 98% of physics/calculus from college, but always come up with the name Bob Ritchie when I hear Kid Rock? Is there anyway I can switch this around?
JetpackCthulhu on November 26th, 2018 at 20:03 UTC »
Minors cannot hold government office, he'd have to be named "Adult Rock" to run. Duh.