This coworker of mine is beautiful and very popular, but in my opinion is taking this hippie thing entirely too far. Her daughter is smart enough but constantly reverting to acting like a toddler; she's doing it more than she acts her age. I support extended breast feeding but this is getting weird. We work at a health food store; we are talking major crunchy granola. So, once she let it slip that they all sleep naked in bed together. I honestly do not think they are pedophiles at all, but as liberal as I am, that's still getting weird at her age. I've always minded my own business, but now she's saying she's going to pull the girl out of the public school because the classroom teacher is starting to question the emotional development of the child. Do I mind my own business or make a discreet phone call to CPS? No way in Hell would I discuss the matter with her; she's on one hell of an ego trip. Could I do this anonymously? I can't risk CPS telling her it was me. One last detail: another coworker's daughter spent the night at their house and they had both girls running around naked, which would not have been cool with the girl's conservative mom, but the adults were not naked in front of the girls. # Free Spirit!
abnruby on October 21st, 2018 at 13:02 UTC »
For those who are confused about parts of this, I'm an attachment parent. I'm a crunchy, cosleeping, homebirthing, baby wearing, baby led weaning, cloth diapering parent. (I vaccinate tho, and so should you, vaccinate your fucking kids) This is not attachment parenting, this is not "crunchy" parenting, this is disordered weird shit and op should definitely call.
Nothing about this is normal.
I've coslept and breastfed three children. Two of those kids are in my bed as I write this. One; babies self wean. They don't need to, nor do they want to nurse past 3ish. I've never had one go past 2 1/2, and it's somewhat variable, but at seven, a child is breastfeeding because there's something very strange going on between mom and child.
Two; at around 3/4/5, kids develop a need for privacy about their bodies, and by extension, your body. They want to dress themselves, bathe themselves, in most cases, sleep by themselves, and the general opinion is that you follow their lead, allow them to set reasonable boundaries and support this period of self sufficiency.
Three; I have never coslept in the nude. I don't know why she's doing this, I don't know why anyone would want to do this, from a practical standpoint, cosleeping is difficult because sleeping children kick and jump and grab because they're small children. You want clothing.
Going back to point two, part of teaching your children healthy boundaries, personal hygiene, and body safety, is modeling those behaviors for them. Meaning that when they begin to desire privacy about their bodies, you follow suit. Meaning that you don't sleep naked in bed with a seven year old. You don't allow your boyfriend to sleep naked with a seven year old. (Also, any dude who is not supremely horrified at the idea of sleeping nude with a seven year old is probably someone you should get out of your house immediately.)
Four; the sign of successful attachment parenting is detachment. My kids have all requested their own beds at around 3, they have stopped nursing before that in favor of sippy cups and preferred foods a bit earlier than that, because they want to exercise independence. They aren't attached to my body into late grammar school.
Five; statistically, children in homes with non biological opposite sex romantic partners who cohabitate with a single parent are at least 10 times more likely to be abused than children living two bio parents/a single parent. [Source](Fourth National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect (NIS–4) Report to ... PDFHHS.gov › acf › default › files › opre)
That's not to say that every non biological partner is an abuser, but the numbers are grim and when you have a red flag factory happening at someone's home, and they want to remove their child from the care of mandated reporters because of a lifestyle choice, you should call. If it's nothing, it's nothing. If it's abuse, hopefully that child can be helped.
On a personal note, I was abused by my mother's partner. No one called because they didn't want to be a "busybody". I have honest to God PTSD. It impacts every area of my life. I'm not suggesting that you call for frivolous reasons, or because you disagree with someone's parenting style, or because of interpersonal disagreements, but if someone is saying that they (and their random boyfriend) are sleeping nude with a seven year old, and when they're planning to isolate that child, there are few times when it's more appropriate to place that call.
beckdawg19 on October 21st, 2018 at 00:08 UTC »
Two parts of this made me most worried:
1) The mom's boyfriend, who is not the child's father, is also sleeping naked in bed with them.
2) The child has delayed emotional development, the teacher is asking questions, and the mother's response is to pull her out of school.
Between the two of those, I think a little investigation by CPS is absolutely called for.
shibantics on October 20th, 2018 at 23:50 UTC »
A woman who is still breastfeeding her 7 year old found love. There is hope for us all.