This is actually some top class self-reflection. If there were more self-reflective people in the world, there would be fewer knobheads. Hope he finds his way.
I spent some time in my late teens and early 20s being a “nice guy” not to the extent of calling women sluts and shaming them for not liking me. But I was frequently outspoken about my discontent for the opposite sex and their disinterest in wanting to be with me. It pissed me off that there was a “game” to the concept of dating. I’d always heard the rules “be attractive, don’t be unattractive” and I always thought this was some bullshit rule for how only pretty people get dates...
I met a gay guy whom I quickly became friends with. He changed my opinion drastically on the concept of dating and what that phrase meant. I’d bitch to him often about how it wasn’t fair that I had to dress a certain way or act a certain way to get dates.
He ended up working to clarify the whole concept to me: Being attractive and not unattractive has very little to do with actually being pretty or dressing yourself in a lie. He admitted that when we first met, he didn’t like me, he found me to be brash, arrogant, and slightly homophobic. But the more we were around each other by obligation of having the same social circle, he started to realize that I had a lot of positive traits that I wasn’t focusing on and I wasn’t showing the rest of the world. He explained the hypocrisy of dressing in misfitted clothes and doing very little to groom myself, yet demanding that the targets of my affection uphold some greater level of hygienic excellence.
Ultimately he taught me that being attractive is about projecting yourself in a way that makes your best characteristics shine and allowing the rest of the world to see the greater portions of your personality. It’s also having enough respect for yourself to understand that you need to take care of yourself and recognizing that a part of loving yourself is treating your body well with actually good food, and not letting your body go to waste.
Beyond that, he hit on me a lot. He liked flirting with me. He found it to be a big game, but it actually kind of stood as a reminder to me that he never got angry with me for turning him down. He understood that I wasn’t gay, and he’d never be my type. Because of that, I stopped being angry when women would point out that I wasn’t their type. That’s fair. We all have a type and we should respect that.
Gold edit: thank you anonymous redditor. I appreciate the charity.
daltonator94 on October 1st, 2018 at 12:04 UTC »
This is actually some top class self-reflection. If there were more self-reflective people in the world, there would be fewer knobheads. Hope he finds his way.
ineedavacation4 on October 1st, 2018 at 12:25 UTC »
Character Development
WrinklyScroteSack on October 1st, 2018 at 14:13 UTC »
I spent some time in my late teens and early 20s being a “nice guy” not to the extent of calling women sluts and shaming them for not liking me. But I was frequently outspoken about my discontent for the opposite sex and their disinterest in wanting to be with me. It pissed me off that there was a “game” to the concept of dating. I’d always heard the rules “be attractive, don’t be unattractive” and I always thought this was some bullshit rule for how only pretty people get dates...
I met a gay guy whom I quickly became friends with. He changed my opinion drastically on the concept of dating and what that phrase meant. I’d bitch to him often about how it wasn’t fair that I had to dress a certain way or act a certain way to get dates.
He ended up working to clarify the whole concept to me: Being attractive and not unattractive has very little to do with actually being pretty or dressing yourself in a lie. He admitted that when we first met, he didn’t like me, he found me to be brash, arrogant, and slightly homophobic. But the more we were around each other by obligation of having the same social circle, he started to realize that I had a lot of positive traits that I wasn’t focusing on and I wasn’t showing the rest of the world. He explained the hypocrisy of dressing in misfitted clothes and doing very little to groom myself, yet demanding that the targets of my affection uphold some greater level of hygienic excellence.
Ultimately he taught me that being attractive is about projecting yourself in a way that makes your best characteristics shine and allowing the rest of the world to see the greater portions of your personality. It’s also having enough respect for yourself to understand that you need to take care of yourself and recognizing that a part of loving yourself is treating your body well with actually good food, and not letting your body go to waste.
Beyond that, he hit on me a lot. He liked flirting with me. He found it to be a big game, but it actually kind of stood as a reminder to me that he never got angry with me for turning him down. He understood that I wasn’t gay, and he’d never be my type. Because of that, I stopped being angry when women would point out that I wasn’t their type. That’s fair. We all have a type and we should respect that.
Gold edit: thank you anonymous redditor. I appreciate the charity.