So my uncle lived with us for years. He was a beast. guy was like 250-300lbs. He ate nothing but fast food, Hungrymen, 3 liters of diet orange soda, and would drink vodka to pass out since he was an insomniac.
This guy used to have the most atomic shits, it was devastating. The bathroom was connected in the same hallway to my bedroom. You'd open the door to my room and smell it for like an hour after, it was feral. But the absolute worst part was, when he'd be drunk or wake up in the middle of the night, he'd almost never flush. I don't know why...he also used to make yelping noises too. So when my friends would sleep over we'd be playing games at like 2am during summer vacation and hear "Daaaaaahhhh". When one of us would go to use the bathroom after and see everything just sitting there looking at us. we'd say "The cookie monster struck again". Reason for the nickname is because for some time he was on a kick with Pilsbury cookies. He'd cook an entire batch and eat them all himself. His flushing inconsistencies lasted literally months
But it really did bring the day down. Also his signature was when toilet paper ran out he would put on a fresh roll, then take the used one and put it on the back part of the toilet for someone else to throw away.
Thank you for reading.
EDIT: A lot of people have asked if he's alive. I haven't had contact with him since a few years ago. But last I heard, yes he's alive.
I worked for a small accounting firm and one day had an awful poop. I mean it was massive ... and repulsive. Well, after finishing I looked under the sink for some spray and there wasn't anything. So, I'm exiting the bathroom and one of the partners is heading that way.
I started to stop him and then thought that I really don't like that prick anyway and kept going. Just as I was entering the hallway to my office he opened the bathroom door and walked into the most massive poop cloud he had ever experienced in his life.
To this day, years later, I still get a chuckle out of the way he screamed, "Oh My God!". After that day the office manager must have been on notice because that bathroom always had spray.
FoxInKneeSocks on July 23rd, 2018 at 03:17 UTC »
I love that the third person whipped out their label maker for this
The_Axem_Ranger on July 23rd, 2018 at 03:18 UTC »
So my uncle lived with us for years. He was a beast. guy was like 250-300lbs. He ate nothing but fast food, Hungrymen, 3 liters of diet orange soda, and would drink vodka to pass out since he was an insomniac.
This guy used to have the most atomic shits, it was devastating. The bathroom was connected in the same hallway to my bedroom. You'd open the door to my room and smell it for like an hour after, it was feral. But the absolute worst part was, when he'd be drunk or wake up in the middle of the night, he'd almost never flush. I don't know why...he also used to make yelping noises too. So when my friends would sleep over we'd be playing games at like 2am during summer vacation and hear "Daaaaaahhhh". When one of us would go to use the bathroom after and see everything just sitting there looking at us. we'd say "The cookie monster struck again". Reason for the nickname is because for some time he was on a kick with Pilsbury cookies. He'd cook an entire batch and eat them all himself. His flushing inconsistencies lasted literally months
But it really did bring the day down. Also his signature was when toilet paper ran out he would put on a fresh roll, then take the used one and put it on the back part of the toilet for someone else to throw away.
Thank you for reading.
EDIT: A lot of people have asked if he's alive. I haven't had contact with him since a few years ago. But last I heard, yes he's alive.
WeedsInMyMind on July 23rd, 2018 at 04:27 UTC »
I worked for a small accounting firm and one day had an awful poop. I mean it was massive ... and repulsive. Well, after finishing I looked under the sink for some spray and there wasn't anything. So, I'm exiting the bathroom and one of the partners is heading that way.
I started to stop him and then thought that I really don't like that prick anyway and kept going. Just as I was entering the hallway to my office he opened the bathroom door and walked into the most massive poop cloud he had ever experienced in his life.
To this day, years later, I still get a chuckle out of the way he screamed, "Oh My God!". After that day the office manager must have been on notice because that bathroom always had spray.