Just look at some of these kids, how can they be so dumb? Like what, you seriously can't hula hoop? Jesus christ. And babies know literally nothing. God damn kids are so dumb.
Just look at some of these kids, how can they be so dumb? Like what, you seriously can't hula hoop? Jesus christ. And babies know literally nothing. God damn kids are so dumb.
BadErotica4U on July 19th, 2018 at 19:22 UTC »
And as the dad is filming he notices his thicc (with 2 c's) wife in her bathing suit and he thinks to himself "maybe tonight we'll get started on making the third kid" he feels that familiar rush of blood to his crotch region but then reminds himself that he can't go beyond half mast while the kids are around. He'll have to keep the beast at bay (for now at least) and keep the camera steady because last time he took shaky camera footage Karen wouldn't stop mocking his camera skills for a week. Karen can be a real bitch sometimes, especially after two glasses of wine, but that's a part of the reason Greg fell in love with her in the first place.
So he waited patiently, took stellar footage that not even a tipsy Karen could critique, then after she got out of the shower (she can't stand leaving chlorine in her hair) and she was toweling off in there bedroom that's when he unzipped his cargo shorts and let them fall carelessly to the floor and busted out his patented helicopter move. Karen chuckled at first remembering the first time he did this while they were visiting her parents and she laughed so loud she almost woke her parents up that were in the next room. But then, just like that first time, she became entranced with that meat just spinning in her face. She let her towel down and whispered to him " don't wake the kids I just put them down for a nap." He then turned her around and pushed her onto the bed "then you're going to need to scream into the pillow you fucking lush because The Greginator is about to take that booty to pound town"
Karen briefly thought to herself that Greg has been mentioning her drinking more frequently in the past few months and maybe she should cut back on her "mommy juice" but that's certainly no reason to call me a "fucking lush" that thought quickly left her mind though as he slipped into her from behind. She bit down on the pillow. Finally The Greginator was back, the last few times he'd had trouble getting it up, it was like trying to thumb a marshmallow into a coin slot. She turned back to him "what got you so excited" (clearly fishing for a compliment)
That's when Greg yelled out "MAMA THICC AS FUCK GOT DAMN!" Well the kids were definitely going to be awake now and she didn't get the compliment on her bathing suit that she was fishing for. She was really hoping he'd say something about it to justify all the money she spent on it. She didn't get it from TJ MAXX like she said she had. No when he checks the credit card statement he'll find out she's not a Maxxinista.
While she was thinking about different ways to hide that purchase she felt the familiar gush of Greg's piping hot man juice fill her up. "How was that babe?" He asked her. "The Greginator is certainly back, now let's go tell the kids mommy and daddy were wrestling and put them back down for their nap" Greg looked excited "can we tell them I fell 20 something feet through a table in a 1998 hell in a cell match?" "No Greg, they won't get that reference and I can't even remember the last time I saw a shittymorph post on Reddit. I miss him too but you'll have to just tell the kids we were regular wrestling, okay?"
Greg looked a bit bummed out but he was going to say all that hell in a cell stuff anyways. Karen isn't the boss of him, she just drinks wine, takes dick like a champ, and can do a pretty decent dive into a pool. Those kids are about to learn about the undertaker and mankind.
Edit: Thanks for the gold kind stranger!
This got way more attention than I thought it would. I saw u/King-Jimmy comment (gave it an upvote) and pictured the cameraman saying that as she was jumping in and after having a sensible chuckle to myself about that mental image I decided to use this account to try and make some other people laugh as well. I'll definitely write more I'm just not sure where. I like r/writingprompts but I'm not sure their mods would want me there so we'll see.
Until then I'll just be lurking and upvoting all the comments in this thread.
TribbleTrouble1979 on July 19th, 2018 at 17:09 UTC »
I was expecting him to jump straight up and slam into the edge but landing entirely in the water is a flop well done!
domastsen on July 19th, 2018 at 17:05 UTC »
They both managed to land in the water, that’s more than I expected