Terminally ill boy, five, writes own obituary: 'See ya later, suckas!'

Authored by theguardian.com and submitted by bertie4prez
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Garrett Matthias, who died of a rare cancer, had a hand in authoring unique obit now garnering attention in US

Terminally ill boy, five, writes own obituary: 'See ya later, suckas!'

A unique memorial service set for Garrett Matthias, a five-year-old from central Iowa, is matched only by the one-of-a-kind obituary the preschooler had a hand in authoring.

Garrett died 6 July of a rare cancer that attacked his temporal bone and cranial nerve. His obituary, which is now garnering national attention, includes details of some of the painful treatments he endured.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Garrett Matthias at a hospital in Iowa City. Photograph: Emilie Matthias/AP

But it’s his funny take on life and death that’s getting noticed.

His obit notes his likes: playing with his sister, his blue bunny, thrash metal music. And his dislikes: “pants, dirty stupid cancer”, and “the monkey nose that smells like cherry farts”.

The obit was compiled by his parents, Emilie and Ryan Matthias, who began asking Garrett questions about adult topics such as funeral and burial preferences when they learned from doctors last month that his cancer was terminal.

His responses, his mother said Friday, made up the obituary.

Asked about death, Garrett responded he was “going to be a gorilla and throw poo at Daddy!” Asked whether he wanted to be buried or cremated, he replied: “I want to be burned (like when Thor’s mommy died) and made into a tree so I can live in it when I’m a gorilla.”

And he was specific about the kind of affair he expected his funeral to be.

“Funerals are sad,” he said. “I want five bouncy houses (because I’m five), Batman and snow cones.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Garrett Matthias loved his blue bunny. Photograph: Emilie Matthias/AP

The obit closes with his last message, “See ya later, suckas! – The Great Garrett Underpants.”

Garrett’s memorial service on Saturday will take into account many of those last requests, including the five bouncy houses. Besides snow cones, carnival games and fireworks, an archer will shoot a flaming arrow on to a small boat carrying Garrett’s ashes in a neighbor’s pond.

The obituary says a private burial of Garrett’s ashes “will be held at a later time, once his parents figure out how the hell to get his ashes made into a tree”.

environments9 on July 14th, 2018 at 03:11 UTC »

“Funerals are sad,” he said. “I want five bouncy houses (because I’m five), Batman and snow cones.”

Brilliant.

Imagine if every funeral was a party that included what the deceased loved. I attended a memorial last week that was catered by an ice cream shop because that was what the man (who I'd never met) had loved. While solemn, I think I saw more smiles and laughter there than any other celebration of life I've been to.

itseriknagel on July 14th, 2018 at 02:32 UTC »

That kid had higher mental capacity and better self-awareness than my ex-boss.

LongOverdueRealOne on July 14th, 2018 at 02:15 UTC »

Little fucking badass.