I love Smash Bros as much as the next guy, but if the new game being made for the Nintendo Switch doesn’t include EVERY SINGLE ONE of these characters, then it is 100% going to be trash. Obviously, I’ll still buy a Switch so I can play it and find out. I actually own the Switch already but I’ll buy one that’s just for Smash Bros.
The Cast Of The Jersey Shore
Claire Danes circa My So Called Life
Steve Jobs Played By Ashton Kutcher
That alien robot Dr Wiley turns into
Berenstein Bears (alt skin for Berenstain Bears)
The Mighty Sarlacc (playable character AND stage)
The End of Racism (we apologise in advance that this character cannot be selected)
Good Eats era & Cutthroat Kitchen era Alton Brown
Chad Muska from Tony Hawks Underground 1
Error from Legend of Zelda: Adventure of Link
The Crying Indian From Those Recycling Ads
Bugs Bunny Dressed as a Girl Bunny
Former Daily Show Host Craig Kilborn
That glitch where you can see Samus naked if you shock her with pikachu and pause at the exact right time
Horny Single Women In Your Area Looking To Fuck
That Same Homeless Guy You Always See On Your Commute To Work
Senator Armstrong in a Red Baseball Cap
The Person You Lost Your Virginity To
The nice guy at the deli who knows what you want before you order it which really helps to make your neighborhood feel like a community
The Main Soldier and the Main Creature from Small Soldiers
The Italian BMT now $5 at Subway
Both of the Moms from Fresh Prince
Busty flower from conker’s bad fur day
Hitler, but Like, Not in an Offensive Way
The Cast of The Breakfast Club
That One Gringotts Goblin That Borders On Anti-Semitism
Unsold DVDs of the movie Pixels
The physical manifestation of the three-fifths compromise
Joe Valentino From Great Neck Nissan
Eric Garland (final smash: Game Theory)
Jean Claude Van Damme’s Character From Bloodsport
The White Guy In The Roots
Some Minor Character From Final Fantasy That Everyone Fuckin Loves For No Reason
The General from those insurance commercials
The Baby Dinosaur From the Show Dinosaurs
Master hand’s wacky cousin crazy foot
The hand coming out of the toilet that needs toilet paper in Majoras Mask
might as well include van hammersly while we’re at it
The “do not blow” warning on the cartridge
Angry Sun from World 2 Desert in Super Mario Bros. 3
Stephen King When He Was Addicted To Cocaine
Arwing That Just Keeps Doing A Barrel Roll
Whatever is Making That Weird Noise When You Hold Z as You Start Up Your Gamecube
The housekeeper that always has to vacuum right in front of the TV while we’re playing
Kevin Smith in an ill fitting batman suit
Cooking Dada (alt costume for Cooking Mama)
Seth McFarlane (skin for Todd McFarlane)
Arthur from the movie Arthur starring Dudley Moore
Norm Abram of The New Yankee Workshop
Marc Maron (his moves are all just talking at you before you get a chance to do anything)
Kirk Van Houten’s representation of Dignity
Goth from the Goth Rave Video
My Uncle Who Works For Nintendo
Friend’s N64 controller that’s sticky and you’re not sure why
Detective Pikachu With Danny Devito’s Voice
Sex Fox (Robin Hood but we just call him sex fox)
Bayonetta, but it’s a person covered in bayonettes
Nick Rutherford from Good Neighbor Stuff a.k.a. the one who didn’t get on SNL
Jared Before The Weight Loss But After The Pedophilia
Some fine people on both sides
A Cease and Desist Order From The Makers Of Tekken
A Monster from an Alesana or Bring Me the Horizon or whatever Shirt
A Baseball Player from the Baseball Episode of Samurai Champloo
Katt, the hot girl fox from Starfox 64
The Realization That Your Parents Have Had Sex Before and They Could Be Doing It Right Now
That fuckable rabbit from Space Jam
Henry Rollins from the Def Jam video game
Bowser and Peach’s Horrific Love Child
The Ever-Changing Concept of American Whiteness
Every Wu-Tang Clan Member Except U-God
Carey Elwes ‘The Claw’ from Liar Liar the Jim Carrey Movie
Goomba Who Has Been Training All His Life To Avenge His Squished Parents
The Italian Aliens from Star Wars The Last Jedi
Mario on Wrong Kind of Mushrooms
The Dude Who Milks The Cow in the 1 2 Switch commercial
the personification of your uncle’s racist anti-Obama rant
Time’s Person of The Year: You
Mario, But After He Divorces Princess Peach And Gains 30 Pounds
Paul Rudd in that Nintendo commercial
Edd, but not Ed or Eddy
The pinching your face guy from Kids In The Hall
Dave, but his mom grounded him from video games for a month
The Broken iPod I’m Too Nostalgic To Get Rid Of
Fabio when a bird died on his face
Watto and Jar Jar (Plays Like The Ice Climbers)
Racist Black Caricatures That Japanese People Don’t Realize are Super Offensive
Dinkie Dino (Mom bought instead of Tamagotchi)
Silk Button-Up Shirt Of Anime Character
The Teacher You Accidentally Called Mom in Third Grade
Quentin Tarantino’s Character ‘Jimmy’ from Pump Fiction
Hallucinogen Dealer Who Hangs out at the Same Coffee Shop as All Your Town’s Teens
Malcolm Gladwell (unlocked after 10,000 hours of gameplay)
Any Of The Well-Received Minority Superheroes Released By Marvel
The 3rd, 7th, and 10th Doctor Who
Yoshi Getting Punched in the Head by Mario
Hard Times Managing Editor Bill Conway
Raspberry Pi Emulator Running SNES Games
The whole team from Major League 2
Jenny Lewis reprising her role from The Wizard
All the girls from Mambo #5
John Legiuzamo’s Character from “The Pest”
A room temperature glass of tap water
The kid banished to Hell at the end of the Crossfire commercial
Collin Kaepernick Kneeling for the National Anthem
A Stale End Piece of Bread That No One Wants to Eat
Mario in that green boot from Mario 3
Toad’s Hat and You Can’t Convince Me Otherwise
The Creeping Realisation That Your Parents Will Eventually Die
CATS From All Your Base Are Belong To Us! LOL, Remember That?!
Donkey Lips From Salute Your Shorts
The turtle from Zelda but with Mitch McConnel’s head
Middle Schooler in a Naruto Sand Village Headband
The Receipt You Never Found to Return That N64DD
Ganondorf but like similar to the way he is in the fucking Zelda series
Entire Lineup of LA Kings From NHL ’95 For The Sega Genesis
A Guy With Three Hands Holding an N64 Controller
The Next Porn Star Who Tries To Become A Mainstream Actress
Those Creatures That Look Like Dicks You Made In Spore
June 1998 Copy of Nintendo Power
Uwe boll looking for a new movie idea
Dwayne Hector Elizando Mountain Dew Camacho
A NYPD Officer who nods at you when he sees your Cro Mags shirt
All the sexy hedgehog drawings from Deviant Art
Dr Cube from Kaiju Big Battel
Michael Cera as Player X (alt skin: Tobey Maguire)
The Underwear Model From A Kohl’s Ad
That Guy At Your Local Restaurant That Says “The Usual?” When You Come In
The Dam Level From Ninja Turtles
George W Bush from “Bush Shootout” (George W Bush skin)
The Crash Bandicoot suit guy from the Pizza Hut commercials
The ghost of Roger Ebert, who still insists video games aren’t art
That Kid That Pac Man and Ms. Pac Man Make After They Fuck Each Other
Green Boots (Dead Body On Everest)
The Pixelated Penis In Japanese Porn
The Racist Guy In the Movie “42”
That Orca Character From Street Sharks
Ted Cruz With That Gun That Cooked Bacon
My Older Brother Who Will Totally Kick Your Ass!
The all new 2019 Jeep Grand Cherokee
The Pizza Delivery Guy Who Doesn’t Judge
The Verizon commercial guy who now works for Sprint or something
Felix Biederman from Chapo Trap House
Ol’ Dirty Bastard (as Big Baby Jesus)
Chad Kroeger (his super smash summons Scott Stapp)
Alan Thompson Jr. from the Whole Foods Front Register in White Plains, New York
Lizard Person (skin for Barack Obama)
Black Panther and if you don’t pick him we’re telling everyone you didn’t like Black Panther
That one guy who still talks about gamergate
Solid Snake’s Cardboard Box with a Labo Logo
Arthur from the movie Arthur starring Russell Brand
Bill Maher Just Alternating Between Saying “Invisible Man In The Sky” and “The N-Word”
An original press Project X Straight Edge Revenge
Freddy Krueger but when he’s the giant snake thing in Dream Warriors
Palette-swapped Clones of All of the Above
AwesomeSauce387 on March 12nd, 2018 at 16:44 UTC »
CTRL F "Goku" 37 Results
iamPnDa on March 12nd, 2018 at 16:19 UTC »
Me b4: "There's no way he listed 642 characters"
Me Now: "I agree, if pregnant luigi isn't in the game it's a deal breaker"
UofTSlip on March 12nd, 2018 at 16:02 UTC »
I'm gonna be honest I don't know if having only 32 Goku's in the new smash is enough for me